Long weekend

Yes, I’ve been super MIA. I know. I haven’t been in the mood for writing lately. I’m still too shocked and sad by Leo’s passing. I hadn’t recovered from what happened to Mr. Remus yet (he was our pet bunny) and now this… I’ve never had a healthy relationship with death. It terrifies the hell out of me and this keeps me in a gloomy mood.

Still, I’ve been trying my best to stay active and put on a strong face for Hotaru’s sake. There’s lots of news, too.  All of them wonderful.

Mom promised Hotaru she’d give us her old Christmas Tree as it was too huge for her now that she’ll be moving into a small apartment. Hotaru was thrilled, but also felt a little guilty about her not having her own tree, so we worked on this project. I think it came out amazing. We worked on it for about five days and Hotaru did all the difficult work. I just carved the tree shape with an exacto knife and glued the parts together.

Hotaru painted it and then designed the decorations and made most of them out of cold porcelain. I only made the reindeer and the dove. The kid modeled the sledge, mini Santa, mini elf, present box, candy cane and all the tiny balls. We gave it to mom last Saturday.

Mom absolutely loved it. She was very touched by the gift and said it was the best Christmas Tree she’s had in her entire life. She’s also cleared an entire table at her house to place it. Hotaru was beyond happy to learn this. She also said it was a little sad the project was over, and that she would miss working on it.

I would have suggested we made another one, but there’s so much Christmas baking waiting for us (and in this weather ugh!) and then there’s the home made crackers… we’ll have more than enough to keep us busy.

Yesterday, I signed the second part of the paperwork needed to sell the house so we got half of the money already. I think we’ll be signing the last batch of papers on January 9th, but I’m not sure. I had never seen so many dollars together in my life. I wasn’t too impressed though. I don’t value money much to be honest. I’d rather be happy with those I hold close to my heart.

In fact, having to count all that money to make sure it was all there, was a HUGE nuisance. Especially with everyone else talking and swapping phone numbers. They were super distracting and the constant whispering of numbers forced me to start over several times. By the end, I felt murderous. I’m lucky I’ll never have a job that requires me to constantly count money because it would be most frustrating.

Both the other sellers, my old neighbors Susan and Karina, were in awe of Hotaru. They had seen her last weekend when she spent the night at mom’s. They were both very impressed by her vocabulary and general knowledge, as well as her speech pattern. They said it sounds very adult like. They don’t know half of it LOL. The kid is such a genius ❤

(Above – Left to right: Chibi Usa, Lulu, Hotaru, Valu)
(Below – Left to right: Andy-sensei, Chibi Usa, Valu, Hotaru)

Hotaru had an event at school last week. The school teachers gave a speech, then Valu’s mom did the same representing the lot of us. The teachers made out kids enter the stage holding a red candle and sing a song for us. It was super cute. They also gave her a medal and a diploma which I consider ridiculous, as they’re not finishing college or anything but whatever. The kid loved it. She’s happy with her medal and carried it everywhere for a few days. That’s what counts.

The kid discovered a new anime that I didn’t know about. It’s called Go! Princess Precure! And we absolutely love it. The main character is a silly girl named Haruka and one of her best friends is called Minami Kaidou… and she’s a total Michiru ripoff. I love this fact, though I think that making her play the violin on top of everything else was a bit overkill. It’s also about 50 episodes long so we’ll be entertained for a long while. Hotaru was sad when Glitter Force was over so this is good news for us.

This was a long weekend. We did plenty of things. Hotaru and I had dinner at my dad’s which was unexpectedly fun. I mean, I enjoy spending time with him but, with my aunt and Sandra and Ruben out of town at the beach house, I didn’t expect to have a blast. We totally did. Sang all night while he played his guitar and dinner was excellent. Even Hotaru joined us for some of the folk songs. She tried to mimic me and learn the lyrics (because she can’t read well enough to read them off the song book yet). It was SO ADORABLE ❤

Hotaru’s friend Phillip invited her over to his house on Friday. They spent the afternoon playing Pokemon TCG and swapping pokemon from 3DS to 3DS as they both own many of the franchise games but in different versions. We have Y and he has X, we have Black and he has White, etcetera. They also went upstairs to their terrace and played with water. Phillip’s mom said they completely drenched the dog and the neighbor LOL. The woman is nice and they live four blocks from where we’ll be moving but she’s too old and doesn’t understand half the things both kids and I talk about.

Michiru and I went on a date to the movies. ^^ We watched Underworld Blood Wars. It was great. I loved it as an action film, but having grown up playing Vampire the Masquerade and other World of Darkness tabletop RPG games, I felt I didn’t believe some parts of the plot. I hated it as a sequel to the saga, even though I loved the movie itself. I know I should be more open minded and understand that Underworld isn’t White Wolf’s WoD, but still… those white haired vampires are SO LAME, they could be Edward Cullen’s long lost cousins. And that’s all I’m gonna say about it. Been bitching about it to the D&D guys all week. I want them to watch it so we can all comment on the subject. Agus promised he would.

Back to the date, it was sweet. We walked to the mall, ordered some food while we chatted about untranscendental things and discussed our daddy issues for such a long time after dinner, we would have completely missed the movie if I hadn’t casually asked what time it was. I thought we still had some time before the movie started and wanted to make sure we didn’t forget about it but when we looked at the time, it was seven minutes past the time printed on the tickets!! We dashed upstairs and were lucky they were showing other movie trailers.

It has been exactly eleven years since the last time Michiru and I went to the movies together. We went to see Constantine back in 2005, though neither of us paid any attention to the movie back then. Underworld we did watch. We no longer have raging hormones and I was really looking forward to this movie. Besides, I love just sitting next to her. Makes me happy. We walked home and watched another movie on the couch before I gave her a back rub and we went to bed, too exhausted to do anything but sleep. Man, we’re old! Officially middle aged LOL.

(Michiru took that pic at the shopping last week and she suggested the pose. It’s so funny ^^)

In the crafts department, Hotaru and I have made other things besides the tree. We made Yo-Kai watches with paper, coloring pencils and some glue.

Sunday, Michiru, Hotaru and I had lunch at my mom’s. It was the first time she officially spent time with Michiru. It was a great lunch. We talked about lots of interesting stuff while Hotaru played with water in the back yard, under my dead old Plum tree. Mom told Michiru funny anecdotes from when I was a child and they both praised Hotaru endlessly. I loved to see us all sharing a table like a family. Michiru even got Hotaru to eat carrots! And she asked for a second helping! Mom was impressed. I was speechless.

Hotaru improvised a tabletop RPG during the second half of our lunch. It involved cooking and some paranormal activity regarding green peas (it’s weird, I know!). She acted as a GM and narrated the story for us in a very mature way. She never ceases to amaze me. She even explained RPG games to my mom so she could play as well. Then, upon seeing her puzzled face, she told her “I think this might be a bit too complex for you, granny.” I laughed my butt off and I’m sure Michiru would have too hadn’t she been a bit intimidated by my mom.

Mom and I gave Michiru the grand tour of the house so she can get to know it before it’s demolished.

After that, Michiru  took Hotaru to the park and I went to Home Depo with Setsuna and her boyfriend. I thought she was driving, which scared me a bit, since she only got her licence two months ago. Luckily for me, it was the boyfriend who drove us there. We had a blast! There was SO MUCH to see. I helped her pick a bathroom curtain and a carpet for her living room. There was a sink I absolutely fell in love with. (The one below)

We tried half a dozen office chairs until both Setsuna and I found one we wanted, but mine was too expensive and will have to wait for another month and hers wasn’t boyfriend approved so she chose not to buy it in the end. I think that’s a mistake on her account. She has to trust her judgement and be her own woman, but I couldn’t tell her that in front of him so I’ll have to find the right moment to bring it up.

Today is Hotaru’s last day of school. I’m supposed to throw confetti at her but the party supply store was closed and now I’m crossing my fingers they’ll reopen when they say they will so I can get it before she gets out. I’m so excited about her going to Mugen Gakuen next year!!

Hotaru’s baby cousin

Today was wonderful. We woke up early because Hotaru was invited to Rami’s birthday party at 11 and we had to get her ready for it in advance. It was nearby so we just walked there, enjoying the lovely Spring weather. It was absolutely perfect. The party was across the street from Hotaru’s first Kinder, which brought back some really disgusting memories about Dr. Tomoe, but Michiru brought me back into the light with her usual gentleness.

After we dropped the firefly at the party, Michiru and I headed to Subway for lunch. We had less alone time than expected and were only halfway through our sandwiches when it was time to pick up Hotaru. We took the leftovers with us to snack on later and picked up the kid. She was happy and enjoyed herself thoroughly at the party, so it was a success. She is such a thoughtful kid, she saved her chocolate cookie pop for me to have, as she’s allergic to chocolate and in no rush to experience what getting a shot for your allergies feels like.

The three of us walked home talking about the party and pokemon and Hotaru’s friends, who play a pokemon card game. I promised the kid I’ll buy her a deck whenever I come across one, as she wants to play with the boys and her friends (and boyfriend!) refuse to lend her theirs even for a moment.

Chibi Usa missed the party. I was surprised at first but then I remembered she has therapy on Saturday afternoons and it made sense for Odango Atama to take her straight to therapy rather than picking her up early to dash there with a kid whose health isn’t perfect.

Michiru took a very long nap when we got home. She was still exhausted from her hectic week. I, on the other hand, was still full of energy, so I filled our table’s cracks (there were plenty of them, by the way) with some spackle I found laying around the house. It was white against black, but the poor old table was in for a new coat of paint anyway. I can already see the wood in some points. It was bought second hand seven years ago after all!

When I was done with the spackle, I readied my paint only to discover that it would take at least a day to dry. That was off putting and rather obvious but I was too excited to think about it beforehand, so I made the most of it and took out my “in process” paintings. The first one was a small one that I was making for my mom’s new house. The colors were too bright and I hated it, so I coated it all in white and promised myself to start over soon.

Then I focused on the Silver Millenium painting I’ve been working on for Setsuna’s belated birthday and finally gathered the courage to start working on the tricky parts. I was afraid it might not come out as intended, but now that it’s dry it looks even better than I had ever dreamed. It’s still not professional looking, but I had never thought I could produce something this good with that level of detail. Perhaps I should have more faith in my own crafting abilities!

In the meanwhile, Hotaru was playing a farm game on Michiru’s tablet. My sea muse woke up by the time I was finishing with my paintings, so it was the perfect timing. She dozed off on the sofa for another hour while Hotaru and I played around and then she took a shower, as we were all invited to Ruben’s 60th birthday party. I was gladly surprised to learn that Michiru was invited as well and asked both aunt Grace AND my dad (and Ruben’s girlfriend Sandra!) twice before passing on the invitation because I was super afraid they would make her feel uncomfortable or make some unsavory anti gay remarks.

It looks like I misjudged them because everyone was SUPER nice to Michiru. Ruben’s daughter Gilda was there as well with her baby son Felix. He’s three months old and Hotaru was absolutely insane about him. She was instantly in love and hasn’t stopped talking about him since. Felix this and Felix that. His hands are super tiny and he’s so adorable and his little toes… and on and on she went.

Michiru and I weren’t too different ourselves, to tell the truth. I was DYING to hold the handsome little one and Michiru made a zillion faces to him. Felix adored her and laughed at her antics in a way he didn’t with anyone else. Michiru has got a gift for babies. She’ll make a wonderful mother to our children. I can tell… we’re going to the fertility clinic on Monday. I’m so nervous!

Also, Hotaru has her school Spring Camp on the 19th and 20th so I was thinking of planing something super special for Michiru and I that weekend and popping the question, but I’m still uncertain about the logistic of getting Hotaru to her camp without her getting motion sick. There’s still an entire fortnight to plan that, so I won’t obsess over it (too much) for now. Yeah… right… As if that were possible! XD

Back to our night, Hotaru followed my cousin and baby Felix around all night until he fell asleep, then she went to my aunt’s bedroom to play with her toys while we grown ups sang and danced. Dad brought his guitar along and played folk songs while him and I sang and everyone else tried to follow suit. Aunt Grace and Sandra danced a few songs and so did my aunt’s cousin whose name I honestly can’t remember.

It was SUPER embarrassing to sing in front of Michiru like that and I felt very very self conscious, which made it hard to sing well in the beginning, but then I got really into it and it became easier. I absolutely LOVE singing with my dad. We make such an amazing team. Besides, it makes me feel closer to him, sharing something we both love and are great at. Sharing a passion with a parent is priceless. I wish I could share something like that with my mom, the way Hotaru and I share so many things from videogames and crafts to languages and music. But I’m also happy that dad and I share this. It’s heart warming.

Michiru and I wore matching red tops and blue bottoms. I love it when we do that, especially when it’s not done on purpose hehe. I wore the red shirt Setsuna gave to me (it’s a hand me down but I love it! She used to wear it back in high school and it brings back lots of memories!). Hotaru decreed she’d get herself ready on her own and picked the American black lace dress I bought for her last month and her brand new red slippers together with one of her favorite hair bands. She was looking amazing, like a proper princess. ❤

I was worried about Leo all day today because mom said he was doing poorly yesterday. Then, at night, I got a message from her saying he was better today and I finally managed to relax a bit. I’m scared about him. Cancer is a serious illness and I love him as a father. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him.

The sun was already rising by the time we got home. Dad was kind enough to drive us here and he was very polite and nice to Michiru. Well, to be honest, everyone was, even my aunt, who told my beloved muse that she can come back whenever she wants. It meant A LOT to me that she did that, but it will take me a while to gather the courage to tell her so. I do suspect that my aunt already knows this, though. She said Michiru is sweet ❤

I felt kinda guilty for keeping Michiru up so late, but she insisted that she had a blast and that she liked my family, so that kind of eased up my mind a bit. Neither of us can sleep when there’s light in the room, but we were SO EXHAUSTED we sort of passed out in the middle of a conversation, regardless LOL.

Ami was kinda unstable today and called Michiru a couple of times throughout the day. She somehow calmed down after a while, when Michiru reassured her that her ex wasn’t needed to keep the business running and that she could do it alone. I was happy to learn that she was proud of herself for managing on her own. All this is worrysome, but these things take time, so there was bound to be some ups and downs before she’s completely over this depression bout.

Lucky for Ami, she has Michiru looking after her and give support. It’s sad because I know just how hard it is, but I can’t do more because we’re not close and it would be weird if I tried to lend a hand somehow.

 

30th Birthday Party

So, I turned 30 last Thursday and aunt Grace organized me a birthday party at her place tonight… but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Michiru and I reluctantly got out of bed at 11 in the morning. I saw her off as she left to teach poor kids art lessons and came back up because Franco invited me to his Tabletop Roleplay podcast as their special guest to talk about Vampire the Masquerade. It went wonderfully and it was a very interesting experience. It made me want to keep on engaging in that sort of activity more often.

My aunt has always dreamed with having her own radio show, so we might start a project of our own, mostly because she doesn’t dare to do it on her own and needs my techy savvy to make it work. Anyway… the guys from the HP group listened to the podcast and so did Michiru, her sister Miki, my mom and aunt. It was a lot more than I had expected and I was honestly surprised.

Then I took Hotaru grocery shopping and we came home to get everything ready for my extra official birthday party, which was merely a get together with the guys I play D&D with and their sentimental others. It was insane fun, though as always. I love having them over ❤

Hotaru played board games with us and was on her best behavior. We played Keep talking and nobody explodes and Zombies. There was a moment when I thought a second debate on politics would break up but Fran was considerate enough to stop it on time. His girlfriend Patricia seems nice, by the way. A bit shy for my taste, but she’s certainly smart and good looking, oh and her cooking is AMAZING, which is always a plus.

Nicolas (Franco’s boyfriend) was just as nice and twice as sweet. I like him a lot and the way they look at each other and look after one another is super adorable. They make the cutest pair. Plus, he was very nice to Hotaru and was super attentive to her, listening to everything she said and never mocking her with sarcasm like the rest of my friends tend to do from time to time. I can see what Franco sees in him. Nico is a gentle soul.

Agus was super handsome. He lost some weight and trimmed his beard. The black and electric blue shirt he was wearing looked SPECTACULAR on him. I wish I had someone I could introduce to Agus. He’s such a nice guy and deserves a loving girlfriend. Sadly, I don’t know many girls, least of all straight ones.

His present was great. A New X-Men compilation book. The fourth of the eight series of New Worlds. ❤ I have to confess that I’ve been madly in love with Jean Grey since I was five and there’s a lot of her in this tome so it was the perfect gift. He’s so thoughtful. The stuffed cat he bought for Hotaru is one of her favorites. I really want to get him something great for his birthday in April.

The get together was insane fun and I had a blast. I really needed a break and they were so great to me. It was a while since I’ve been this pampered by friends. They made me feel loved and special. This was my best birthday party since I turned 18. BY FAR.

Then we all had to leave and I locked the whole group out of the apartment because I was in such a rush to get to my aunt’s in time for my other party LOL. I knocked on the door of all my neighbors and no one answered. Not even Norma, the sweet lady who lives in 3B who’s always home because her husband is very ill.

I was about to call my mom (who has a copy of the key), when my suave Colombian neighbor from 4A came down the elevator and saved us AGAIN. He is always opening the door for me whenever I’m going out. Guess we have similar schedules.

The party my aunt organized was just perfect. ❤

All my family members I care the most about were there, except for uncle George, who lives two hours from here and isn’t much of a party animal, so yeah. It was amazing. Even my baby cousin Ariel was there with his girlfriend. I hadn’t seen him in eons! Probably a decade or so unless you count the times we bumped into one another in the bus or the street, which I don’t.

Ariel and I used to have sleepovers when I was around twelve and he was five o six. We’d go to the park and pretend we were Dragon Ball or Saint Seiya or X-Men characters, running around for hours and then, at night, we’d pretend to be asleep until everyone else was and then we’d play race games on my N64 or Street Fighter on his PS2. It was SO MUCH FUN! I can’t believe he’s turned into an adult who plays guitar in a rather famous band and wants to brew his own beer. He was the cutest little kid. Where does time fly to?

Mom and Leo were there too, in spite of dad and Puli’s presence. Guess they tried to get along for the sake of Hotaru and me. It was nice to have them all in one place. This throwing two or three birthday parties was getting old soon. Mom and Leo didn’t stay long because he had had a very complicated day because of his cancer and was physically exhausted. I bet mom was as well, from tending to him.

After they left, Hotaru organized an impromptu costume party with aunt Grace’s hat collection and a few garlands and other toys and items she had in her toy basket. They confined me in the living room until  the surprise was ready and boy, was I surprised! I didn’t see it coming! It was so nice to see everyone happy. They laughed at each other’s costumes and joked around. ❤

We goofed around for a while and then they brought in the cake. My aunt was the sweetest. Knowing nothing about anime, she asked me which was my favorite Sailor Moon character and crafted party favors with Haruka’s image on them. ❤ I ADORE her for it.

I had a hard time thinking of three wishes to ask and I’m scared to even hope for those things, but I really could use some good luck in those departments lately.

After that, they left me messages in a birthday sign board that aunt Grace set up for me and Ariel and his girl left because well… they’re too young at 23 to be spending the night with their older family members. It was considerate enough that they came.

Then aunt Grace and Sandra danced some folk songs and dad and I sang together. By the time we were done with that it was like 4am and I was more than ready to go to bed. I had had a blast and was extenuated from the busy day. But they suggested a game of 10.000 and I just couldn’t say no. I got lousy die rolls until the very last one which made us win the game ^^

It was a perfect birthday and I’m really thankful towards everyone who was involved in it. ❤ ❤ ❤

Crafty Friday

Mom went back to work today so I was on my own. I had to lay down with my feet up several times today to keep my blood pressure at a reasonable level in order to get through my day. It crashed down after I dropped Hotaru at school. By the time it was normal again, I had to pick her up, which brought it back down… and I had to lay down some more.

Hotaru and I started a Faux Vitral project today, as her school mates made their own while she was absent. They used translucent colored paper to make a shabby looking collage but I decided to take it a step further and suggested we used clear glue and acrylic paint for ours. It will look a lot neater and more realistic and then she can hang it on her window. It will be super cool to see colorful sunshine coming through in the morning.

The kid and I decided to make two different designs. One with a peacock and the other one with Fluffle Puff and Chrysalis. They’re nowhere near ready but the project is slowly advancing.

Hotaru misbehaved on our way home from school. She almost crossed the street when she wasn’t supposed to AGAIN, so I grounded her for today. We sang karaoke and recorded another couple of videos for her youtube channel. One of them is us singing Eternal Eternity. In my defense, it was all Hotaru’s idea.

Michiru dropped by after work. She was very overtired and fell asleep early on the sofa while Hotaru and I kept on working on our vitral. I transferred her to my bed after Hotaru was asleep in her own, after hearing me read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to her.

Good talks

Hotaru went back to school today. I forgot to mention that yesterday my mom got a call from Dr. Tomoe’s mother asking why Hotaru hadn’t been going to school. Mom asked her how she knew this and she said that she called the school every day to know if she was there (which I think it’s a bit creepy and screams STALKER, but whatever).

Mom called me to warn me this at night, after she had left. She said that woman might call and she did while I was on the phone with her. She called my cell phone. I love my mom ❤ She’s a genius for warning me. What if I didn’t check the caller ID before picking up!? The stress! Just thinking about it stresses me senseless!

Hotaru and I played Animal Jam for a little while. Not too long because I was still super tired and not feeling well even if she did. I managed to type s few hundred words into my novel. I apologize to Lex and Gypsy for the nonsense. I’ll have to edit that heavily later on LOL Gods know what I might have written! I don’t even remember!

The kid and I spent a good couple of hours drawing later at night and then I felt good enough to dance a couple of Just Dance songs with her… and by a couple I mean like 1/3 of one and 1/4 of a different song half an hour later. Her? She was completely fine and jumping all over the place by today. Kids really bounce back super easily and I’ve been drinking lots of orange juice and stuff!!

She is humming a song she made up as I type. The lyrics are “Okaasan daisuki” She’s SOOOO adorable ❤ I absolutely love her and I’m glad that I was feeling well enough to spend quality time with her today. I missed her these past few days while I was a zombie and I know she’s missed me too. Oh, and I cleaned the fish tank yesterday somehow. It was like climbing Mount Everest but I did it for Leeboo.

Hotaru spent a couple of hours on the phone with Chibi Usa today. They used our cellphones for a whatsapp call and talked about nonsense and sent each other pictures and a ton of emoticons and played something regarding monsters, judging by Hotaru’s screams of “MONSTEEEEER!” that came from her room. LOL They’re so cute ❤ Thinking of it, Chibi Usa didn’t come to school today. I wonder if she’s better from her asthma fit. Odango Atama told me she had one a couple of days back which isn’t surprising considering the weather we’ve been having.

The school wants us parents to organize something neat for Teachers Day (or was it Students Day?) and they held a meeting on Friday… or Monday. I really can’t remember. Thing is I wasn’t able to attend for health reasons (so it was probably Monday) and then they decided for a Kermes and sent me a text with the game that I was assigned to. I think I’m in a group with the Korean girl’s mom and someone else… one of the boys’ parents I think.

We have to organize carrying an egg till the finish line with a spoon. And these two women want to get together to talk about it!! I mean it’s carrying a freaking (plastic, hopefully) egg with a spoon for a couple of meters!!! How complicated can it get for the activity to require a meeting!?!?! I did tell them I was down with the flu and that I wouldn’t be able to go. They said I should let them know when I’m better so we could meet. WHAT GIVES!?

Michiru and I had a really nice chat about one of the classes she’s taking. It’s about education methods used nowadays and how they could be improved/reformed. It was very interesting and I loved being able to share that with her and reconnect. I felt a little disconnected from her what with me being a zombie all week. I wasn’t up for chatting or anything, really. It was super tiring.

I also had a great chat with Setsuna (who’s been thoroughly enjoying her brand new boyfriend 😉 about Michiru and I. I wanted her opinion on some things I have had on my mind lately. Mostly this blood issue that came up a while ago and other similar concerns.

Setsuna’s advice was golden, as usual. She eased my fears and helped me see the situation as it was and analyze it objectively. Now I feel happier than ever to have Michiru in my life, both for me and for Hotaru’s sake. Setsuna is right. We might not always agree on how to parent, but I know she means well (that tough love is just the way she’s been brought up) and it’s good for the kid to have a different perspective from mine. It’ll be enriching for her to have one parent who is very understanding and another one who helps her face reality bravely.

Clearly, I can’t be the first one since I’m always running away from everything, so Michiru will probably have to teach both Hotaru and I how to be braver.

Oh, also, I told Setsuna in confidence that I’ve ordered my jeweler to start working on Michiru’s engagement ring last week. I’ve designed it back in 2004 and always kept that design very close to my heart. Told absolutely no one about it until last month when Setsuna and I discussed my intention of proposing to Michiru this summer.

Then, as we started dating and things got more serious, I decided that it was time to see if Oscar would be able to craft such a ring and I started looking online for similar designs I could use to explain to him what I needed. Turns out there was such a ring! Someone has designed it after all! It was likely to happen (and I don’t mind, really… who cares about someone across the globe with the same ring when I’ve dreamed of it for twelve years!?).

I had googled it several times in the past, through the years, because it was exactly the ring that I had Lex give to Gypsy when proposing to her (yes, I know, I’m a romantic deep inside). All my anual searches came back negative: there wasn’t anything QUITE like what I had on mind. Well, the one I found this time isn’t EXACTLY what I wanted, but I explained to the man which things I wanted changed.

I trust his judgment because Oscar has made me beautiful rings in the past ❤ And this one will be the best so far. I can feel it! ❤ I asked him not to use my design for other clients and I know he’ll be quiet about it.

Oh, Hotaru and I sang karaoke before bedtime (and played Animal Jam in the afternoon for a little while, killed a few dozen phantoms). LOL. It was fun and I loved showing her old songs and seeing her reactions to them and having my own shocks with her trendy favorites. She listens to Skrillex for God’s sake!

Also, Hotaru told me today that she’s not SUPER sad about Mr. Remus anymore, because she can finally think about him and think of the good times and that he had a good life. I wish I could! I say I can because that’s what expected of me, but I still feel my heart crunched every time I remember him in his final moments.

I try to remember him alive and well, but I honestly can only conjure the last time I saw him when I try to remember him twitching his cute little nose or running. It’s hell. Then I keep thinking of my mom, who probably has similar memories of my childhood dog, Roger and I feel for her. I’m glad that Hotaru didn’t have to see him in the end the way I did that last day. God, I love this kid enough to face death so she doesn’t have to.

Fathers Day

Hotaru and I spent most of today resting from all the fun we had in the past two days. I didn’t have rehearsal today because it was Fathers Day and the guys wanted to spend the day with their families.

I wanted to take Hotaru out but we were both too exhausted from so much fun and decided to stay home. Besides, mom has been down with the flu for days now and Leo is still at the hospital, so we didn’t have any plans until the night. We just stayed home and played videogames.

Dad picked Hotaru and I up around ten. We went to aunt Grace’s for a cow stomach roast pot, though she knows I’m too stressed to eat such rich food and grilled chicken for the kid and I because she’s a sweetheart. We took the leftover mini pies as entrees and everyone loved them. They kept asking for the recipe which was super flattering ^^

There was over ten more people than usual because their friends from the political party thingie they’re involved in were invited as well for Father’s day and the national holiday. Everyone was super nice and polite and very cultured so the conversation was extremely interesting. Still, I didn’t get to talk much with people as dad had brought his guitar and started playing for everyone to sing along. It was nice.

Could have been better if he had asked me to sing the songs I actually know =P I was lost most of the time and off key so I probably made him look like a fool for saying I have a good voice but it’s not my fault he picked songs I haven’t heard in twenty years!

It was still great fun and I even spent some time in the kitchen trading cooking recipes and funny anecdotes with the smokers. Hotaru had fun playing with these people’s kids who were super polite and educated as well. There was a little boy who wanted to run for president and asked her to be his vice president. It was UBER CUTE.

He recommended me a couple of games for my cellphone that I loved. I wish I had more time to get to know the kid. Aunt Grace says he has a beautiful mind and we all know I’m a huge intelectual snob.

Hotaru’s grandparents texted me through the entire dinner but neither of us could get into the cinema’s webpage to buy tickets for the movie we wanted to watch. Turns out the system had crashed. Anyway, I told them to come over for tea and asked dad and aunt Grace to be there as well, just in case. Because I’ll surely need tons of emotional support.

I love watching my dad play the guitar and hearing him sing. It reminds me of when I was little and spent the entire night admiring him as he entertained the guests with his music. I also love singing with him, but I like each for a particular and different reason. I’m glad I have him and my aunt for support. They’re the best!

Outer Senshi Day

Setsuna has been dying to meet Michiru, so we arranged to go over there with Hotaru for tea today. It was a long but very fulfilling day ❤

I stayed up late last night chatting with Setsuna. She had a huge fight with her boyfriend and he almost moved out. Her aunt has what I can only assume is cancer though she preferred not to go into details and her baby fever is paining her worse than ever, so she was obviously having a tough week. I did my best to reassure her and then suggested we got together, which she was all for.

Then I slept for three hours before mom drove Hotaru and I to her pediatrician. She wrote her the “this kid is fully recovered” note the Headmistress demanded, and said her bloodwork was fine.

Then mom took us out for lunch and left right afterwards. Hotaru and I went for a walk because the day was nice and sunny. We stopped at an ATM, a candy store, a design objects store and an office supply store, where I got some hand lotion scented play dough and a bunch of craft materials for the kid.

We bought a 30 pack of markers, a 12 pack of coloring pencils (a better brand than the ones we have) and some glittery glue. Also, more bar glue for the kid and some ink for my Uranus Henshin fountain pen.

Back at home, we let Mr. Remus out for hops while I took a long hot shower. Then the bunny was caged again and we went to the mini market to get some yummy nommies for tea. I don’t like going to Setsuna’s house empty handed. It’s rude.

Michiru met us downstairs and the three of us rode the subway to Setsuna’s. Michiru and I chatted all the way while Hotaru slept on her lap.

There was a huge Yamaha keyboard at the station where we got off, the kind that looks like a piano. Michisu insisted I played a little but I felt embarrassed and we were already late so I passed. The two of them sat down and toyed with the instrument anyway so we were late, but Setsuna never complains.

Hotaru was on her best behavior and so was Setsuna’s boyfriend. Michiru was nervous at first but then she relaxed a bit. Setsuna was super welcoming and put extra effort into making Michiru feel comfortable, which was a shocker to me. I guess she really loves me enough to try to be friends with my girl. They liked each other’s personality and clicked nicely. It’s not surprising considering just how much they have in common.

Hotaru and I had a previous engagement, so we had to leave before dinner, not without playing half a dozen games like Keep talking and nobody dies, Lie swatter, Drawful and such.

Dad picked us up at around ten. He said hello to Michiru, who came downstairs with us, but I don’t think he realized who she was. Anyway, she went home on her own. Meetig Setsuna was probably stressing enough without my dad in the mix.

Hotaru slept all the drive to my aunt’s and then carried on sleeping on her couch for another hour and a half. She woke up when we had all finished dinner and had her share while dad and I sang folk songs from his music folder. I had a bit of a stuffy nose, so it was hard for me to breathe but it cleared up at some point allowing me to sing better.

I absolutely LOVE singing with my dad and/or listening to him sing and play the guitar. I could watch him and listen to him forever. It brings back memories of when I was little and he sang me to sleep with his gutar.

Leo’s birthday

Today is Leo’s birthday. My day began super early… Just kidding. It began at noon, when Michiru called to make sure I woke up in time to go to my rehearsal, but we went to bed at like 9am after a crazy night so I slept only two hours and was a zombie all day.

Leo picked Hotaru up at noon and we wished him a happy birthday. Mom told him I had a cold so he wouldn’t miss me at his super quiet lunch and I felt a little bad for her lying to him for me but the truth is his family stresses me to no end and I REALLY needed to unwind. Like, seriously so. I love him to bits and he’s more my father than my real dad because he’s the one who’s always there, not just to have fun but to help me through things.

I feel a little ungrateful for missing his birthday but if I want to be functional for my daughter I need to get out and do something FUN and RELAXING. I owe it to her and she’s my #1 priority. I’ll still see him on Tuesday to celebrate and it’s not like I don’t love him deeply. I feel guilty but I know right now I’m going through too much **** and need the break so, thanks mom for lying for me. I know you absolutely hate to lie. Well, I was looking crappy enough this morning to pass as sick even if I didn’t intend to. Sleeping two hours does that to your face XD

Anyway, The rehearsal was a disaster, but the new guitar player is great so it was worth it. Too bad he knows best the songs I suck at. I bet Ricky did that to force me to get better. In any case, I know where my priorities lay. I’ll give the band as much as I can do and nothing more. When things calm down a bit I’ll try giving them my best again but, so far, it is what it is.

But the new member was officially accepted and we’re all excited about going to studio soon as well as finally begin playing at pubs.

Michiru was late picking me up from rehearsal but only by a few minutes. I was starving, so I bought something to nibble on our way home. We stopped at my place for a moment so I could drop the netbook and drink some water. I also took the chance to give Michiru the henshin stick I bought for her. I know she already has the one I made for her twelve years ago (has it been so long already?) but this one you can actually write with! She loved it and that made me super happy.

We decided against going to the convention because it was super cold and I didn’t want to catch a cold or the flu. We went for a super long walk instead and planned on stopping at her place to watch Zootopia, but her sister Miki and her boyfriend were watching How I Met Your Mother and monopolized the TV. Oh, before that we stopped at the shopping mall for like fifteen minutes before realizing it too was too packed with people. We fled like rats LOL.

Then I took a cab to my aunt’s, where mom had dropped Hotaru after the birthday lunch. Hotaru and I stayed for dinner. Uncle Angel made roasted meat and onion pie and something else I can’t quite recall right now.

Music’s in the air

Today I woke up with a start when Nacho called. I texted him before going to bed letting him know that I was going to sleep like three hours and he should call me if I didn’t answer the door because I usually sleep through noise, especially when sleeping just a couple of hours. He told me he was on his way so I got out of bed and got dressed in a blur. We live really close so the bell rang five minutes later.

We were supposed to rehearse the choruses for the song I’ll be recording soon for him as a favor (not for our album and I really hope he understands that). I did my best in spite of having a really husky voice and nailed the right notes out of skill and habit rather than instinct as it’s usually the case with my singing. It’s lucky he trained me to sing well in spite of having a cold when I was young. It still comes handy, though I kind of resented him back then.

Then mom picked Hotaru up before lunch. They had a girl’s day out planned after their usual Sunday lunch at Leo’s mom with the whole family. His niece was there with her kids so Hotaru played with Martina and her little brother. Luckily, that monster of a kid sort of behaved well most of the time. She did try to get Hotaru to play a horror game for older kids, but my little firefly is too smart for her tricks and just didn’t. I love her so much! She’s sweet and smart and considerate! And super sweet. She didn’t take her eyes off me the whole time I was rehearsing with Nacho ❤

When Nacho left, I dashed to rehearsal with the other band. I made it just in time. Riki had great news! He got a better paid job with a decent schedule and quit his old job so we’ll be able to get together and practice more often… and he can spend that extra time composing new songs which is just great. He said there was a cool surprise for us in store and I was giddy as a kid about it.

Besides, rewatching GRAVITATION made me remember just how passionate I am about both singing and writing and made me want to give 150% in both areas. Sometimes you just forget about what’s important, you lose sight of it in the face of difficulties… and everyone knows I’ve faced enough of those lately.

I was so fired up that I sang all the songs with passion and really enjoyed myself for the first time. After that meeting, I finally feel that I belong and that we’re all on the same page when it comes to the arrangements. That gave me the kind of confidence I needed to really let myself go and get in the zone.

Halfway through the rehearsal, the door opened and a guy walked in. He was our new lead guitar! That was Riki’s surprise! And I was so thrilled! He seems like a nice guy. His music is good (though he was shy and super nervous) and he listens to classical and country music so the kid has my full approval =))

Michiru picked me up after rehearsal and we all walked together for a couple of blocks. Then we bought a few groceries on our way home. I had a few prosciutto sandwiches for lunch and we talked on the couch for a couple of hours. Then mom brought Hotaru back. She was SO happy to see Michiru home she ran to her from the door for a bear hug. It was super cute and sweet.

By then, my energy was almost fully depleted, so I took a nap on the couch while they drew  a few pokemon right beside me. It was heavenly. I love spending time with them doing everyday activities. I want so badly for Michiru to come live with us it hurts. Her aunt was in town so she had to leave early to have dinner with her, but we still had a blast.

Finger painting

I took the restraining order against Dr. Tomoe to Hotaru’s school today and handed it over to the headmistress. That cow refused to help when first informed of the situation until she did some research and realized she was legally forced to send her file to the pertinent Government department. She didn’t even apologize for insinuating I was a liar, so I handed over the copy and said the Judge thought the matter important and urgent. She got the hint. I saw it in her eyes. We both knew I was rubbing it in. That’s enough for me for now.

Moving on to happier matters, the weather was perfect today, so I went for a walk after dropping those forms at the Infinite Academy. Found a hoodie I loved but the guy wouldn’t sell it to me because it was menwear. Oh, how lovely discrimination is (said no one ever ¬¬). On the plus side, there’s plenty of other places selling winter clothes but that attitude won’t help that skinhead’s business thrive.

Hotaru and I raced home once we got to the point where there wouldn’t be any streets to cross before reaching our building. I took it seriously and didn’t hold back as usual. It wasn’t fair because I’m an adult and sprinting used to be my thing back when I exercised somewhat seriously, but I really needed it; the feeling of being in control that comes with that kind of exercise. My whole body works like a well oiled machine, every little cog playing its part perfectly under my command. It felt great. Then I had to let her win the rematch. Otherwise, I would have never heard the end of it.

The weather was still decent by then, so I suggested we took our tea time snacks to the park for a picnic. She fussed and said we have been out a lot lately and that she wanted to stay home and play videogames on the computer. I’d usually argue against such a plan on a nice day, but she has a point and every right to have a quiet day in. Besides, she hasn’t touched the computer in at least three days, I couldn’t deny her a little slack.

Good weather tends to make me unconditionally happy. However, I felt rather gloomy today for no particular reason. It was probably the adrenaline crash after the high I got all week. It wasn’t the good kind either. I played some Pokemon Y while my little firefly ignored the heck out of me. I got Fennekin, in case you were wondering.

Then Michiru got out of work and called me. It was a very long call and many random subjects were merrily discussed. I love the way we make each other laugh and still get surprised at the millions of little everyday things we’ve got in common. I got off the phone when dinner was ready. Still, it wasn’t enough for me. When we said good night I missed her even more than before. Oh, I could listen to her talk for eons!

After I move to the new house, I’d love to go furniture shopping with her. I often daydream of us picking the new tiles, paint and designs together before I gather the courage to ask her to move in. I want to marry her and grow old. Always wanted to. Should I wait until we’re ready to take it to the next level and discuss that after I propose or would it be better to live together for a while before getting engaged?

This is the kind of thought that keeps me up at night. Laying there in the dark, my heart goes to her and all the moments I hope to share together. I dared to let her in on one of them today. She was upset because of her work, so I told her the idea that pulled me through these tough past few days: I want to sit beside her with a huge bowl of pop corn, put on a movie and not watch a single moment of it 😉 It was heart-warming that she found the mental picture and the implicit promise that comes with it, as comforting as I did.

I’m still trying to digest the fact that Michiru has grown a little tired of traveling and is finally ready to settle down. She mentioned it when we met the other day, but it’s still too good to be true. I mean, I was resigned to being a single parent, already looking into adoption options and ready to start the process later this year and here she is saying all that stuff about becoming a mother before she gets older and being resigned to being a single mom… I was like WOW. OK, I need a drink now.

We are so perfect for each other! I don’t ever want to be apart from her again. Ever. She is definitely my soul mate… who else doesn’t like mashed potatoes, for Gods’s sake!? Us, only us and we are meant to be.

Ever since I first met her back in 2004, I can’t stop thinking about marrying her and having children together. Not that I’d admit that to her, of course, because it’d be too embarrassing, but she makes me feel these warm and fuzzy feelings… I keep grinning like an idiot when I think of all the things I want to share with her and those little things that make her smile.

I still remember the names we had picked for our children when we were in High School. Can’t imagine going through that with anyone else. And now that she’s feeling more ready to enter that stage of life I can’t help to feel hopeful. This is everything I’ve ever wished for, being with her, planning a future, raising a family… and it feels so close, so real I am terrified that anything might get in the way of our happiness, like senseless arguments or those unexpected ways karma screws you up… but at least I feel confident that there won’t be any stupid mistakes on my part like before. I’m done running away whenever I feel scared. I want to face whatever comes by her side. A life without her is colorless and plain.

Speaking of color, Hotaru and I worked on another page of our Wreck This Journal. This time it was “this page is for handpaint and fingerpaint.” We chose a rainbow pattern that looks super bright and cheerful. We’ll add a heart on top once it’s dry, where my hand prints half the heart and hers the other half. Hotaru’s will go in the page with the instructions because hers is smaller. We still haven’t decided whether the heart will be pink or black. It’s pretty obvious who is voting for each, right?

Hotaru and I watched a TV show about twins on Netflix during dinner. I think it’s called Liz and Maddie or something like that. It’s decent, actually. I thought it’d be very dull. Then we sang karaoke for half an hour and she took a bath. I blew her hair dry before bedtime because it’s getting colder. I have to admit I almost fall asleep telling her a goodnight story LOL. She still smells like a baby after bath time because of the baby soap so it’s nice to hug her as she falls asleep.

Nineteen year old me would never believe this, but I actually love being a parent. Hotaru is the sweetest, better mannered, best behaved little girl on planet Earth. And I’m falling asleep on my chair, so it’s bed time for me.

Oh, I talked with Setsuna on the phone this afternoon around lunch time. She was still having problems with her boyfriend, so I helped her come up with a solution. This was a new problem for a change. It was refreshing. I’m not sure the solution we found will work, because the man is very stubborn about his ways, but we’re both trying to stay optimistic for her sake. Plus, she said some really sweet fluff about him. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her talk like that about someone.

It was both cute and heartbreaking. I mean, it’s nice to know that cold Setsuna has a tender side even if it is very well hidden under layers of self sufficiency. Still, this man is no good for her and the fact that he’ll break her heart is plain to see. I just hope she doesn’t come out of this relationship too wrecked, whenever it finally does come to an end. She is a good woman and deserves to be happy.