Crazy weather and school break

Today was an absolutely lazy day. The weather was awful. Rainy and damp and hot then super cold as the day progressed. Made no sense. Kept my blood pressure all over the floor, which was super inconvenient.

On the plus side, there was a teachers meeting of some sort today so Hotaru had the day off. Not having to take her to and from school was a blessing, as I spent most of the day with my feet up, trying to feel like a person. I got up a few times, to clean the kitty litter, make lunch and bake cinnamon buns and had to go back to my chair right afterwards because I felt dizzy. I can’t wait to get that blood work done so they can give me medications to fix my under-active thyroid gland problem. Hopefully that’ll get rid of this kind of problems.

I asked Hotaru if she wanted to bake with me, but she was uninterested in it for some reason. Guess the lousy weather got to her as well. The original idea was to make cinnamon rolls, but I had no brown sugar and blah… I ended up baking 3lbs of cinnamon bread which was intended to be sweet but came back with a very mild flavor. It’s interesting, though. The buns are perfect to eat with ham and cheese, the way one would with a croissant (because I used butter for them), so Michiru said through whatsapp that she’s bringing ham and cheese tomorrow when she comes after work. She happens to like that kind of treat and thanks goodness, because I baked 3lbs out of habit but it’s A LOT for Hotaru and I to finish. Guess I’ll drop by and take a few to Norma, the 80 year old lady who lives upstairs with her husband.

Hotaru has been practicing Hiragana a lot today. I downloaded an app for her to do just that. She finds it very entertaining, but quite frustrating. She loves the learning process and all, but having to follow a certain stroke order when drawing the characters makes her grumpy. I have to admit it has always bothered me the way she writes romaji letters starting at the bottom rather than the upper part of them. After so many years of writing in Japanese, my brain is horrified by anything other than the order they would use to write. LOL.

Watched a ton of SandyaelMikoku’s youtube videos today since there was nothing I could do given how I felt. I still haven’t gotten up to date with her channel, but that’s OK. I had forgotten her existence for four months or so. It will take me a couple of days to finish binge watching them. I really like the way she talks, the things she talks about and what she thinks about things. It’s very interesting and makes me feel like I have a friend, which is ridiculous, but still… true, sadly.

Speaking of friends, Setsuna has been seriously MIA since I tried to talk to her about some things that were worrying me and she said she didn’t want to talk about them because they would upset her. I tried writing to her the next day and nothing. She got my messages (about three different topics to see if I could poke her curiosity) and still didn’t reply so I figure she needs some time to herself.

Hotaru forgot that she isn’t supposed to use the computer for more than 3 hours a day unless it’s for didactic activities so I had to ground her without computer tomorrow. I really need to cut her techy time. I mean, it’s great that it gave her the native English level she has right now, but three hours a day is more than enough for her to keep it up to date and expand her vocabulary. I really dislike her spending so much time on youtube so it will change starting yesterday.

Mom stopped by after spending some time with Leo at the hospital (after she got out of the office) and told me they’re going to put a stem thingie in him after all, probably tomorrow. It’s a routine procedure but he’s scared to death about it, apparently. She came so we could go over the real estate ads I had preselected yesterday, to see if any of those properties was worth taking a look at in person. Turns out they didn’t, BUT the good news is we finally see eye to eye on this matter. She finally agrees that the one I call my dream house is the only one that fits all the criteria that we are considering when selecting houses, so she said we’ll do our best to try and get that one once we have the money in our hands.

I’m gonna go now. She wants me to teach her some more Japanese.

Crafty Friday

Mom went back to work today so I was on my own. I had to lay down with my feet up several times today to keep my blood pressure at a reasonable level in order to get through my day. It crashed down after I dropped Hotaru at school. By the time it was normal again, I had to pick her up, which brought it back down… and I had to lay down some more.

Hotaru and I started a Faux Vitral project today, as her school mates made their own while she was absent. They used translucent colored paper to make a shabby looking collage but I decided to take it a step further and suggested we used clear glue and acrylic paint for ours. It will look a lot neater and more realistic and then she can hang it on her window. It will be super cool to see colorful sunshine coming through in the morning.

The kid and I decided to make two different designs. One with a peacock and the other one with Fluffle Puff and Chrysalis. They’re nowhere near ready but the project is slowly advancing.

Hotaru misbehaved on our way home from school. She almost crossed the street when she wasn’t supposed to AGAIN, so I grounded her for today. We sang karaoke and recorded another couple of videos for her youtube channel. One of them is us singing Eternal Eternity. In my defense, it was all Hotaru’s idea.

Michiru dropped by after work. She was very overtired and fell asleep early on the sofa while Hotaru and I kept on working on our vitral. I transferred her to my bed after Hotaru was asleep in her own, after hearing me read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to her.

Spring Cleaning

Mom dropped by after breakfast today. She’s making the most of her week off, I guess. We chatted while doing laundry and prepared Hotaru’s bento for school. Then I went to drop the kid at school and she went back home, promising to come back later to help me with the spring cleaning.

Odango Atama called me as I was about to eat lunch and we spent an hour on the phone, probably more. She told me the many ways Dr. Tomoe and his family could try to make things difficult for me and how to avoid or counter those moves. She’s been there before with Mamoru, so she has lots of experience and wanted to make sure I didn’t go through the same. That’s so sweet and typical Usagi.

She also informed me on the paperwork needed to make sure Dr. Tomoe can’t steal from Hotaru’s fund anymore. I need her ID for that, but I’ll try to get it the day after tomorrow, since Hotaru and I will be out running errands anyway. She needs to come with me to this place so they can get her signature and fingerprint, which is insane. I mean, she’s only six! But this is the new policy so blah.

I ran into Lolo’s mom at school. We agreed to organize this year’s Halloween party together. She’ll host it on her building’s rec room and I’ll help with the food and decoration. Andrea (that’s her name) thinks we should hire entertainers. I think there’s no need for that if we get creative and I’ve organized some pretty damn amazing games and activities in the past, but she insisted. I gave in, though. I think it’s time I let things go and care (and worry) less about everything.

Hotaru will be SO excited when she hears about the Halloween party. A couple other parents didn’t want to join the committee, because they say it’s a foreign celebration, that’s not even a holiday and it’s unsuitable for children. Whatever. I think any excuse to throw a party is great and our kids will only be young once. What’s the harm in some crazy fun once a year? Next year they’ll be learning to write and read and bring homework home… life won’t be this sweet again. Well, it’s their loss.

Odango Atama and Chibi Usa walked with us today. I had to take Hotaru to therapy with Miss Helga, so they escorted us up until the park. Then they had to go home to change the lock for Queen Serenity, as it was faulty, but Chibi Usa didn’t want to leave the park. She threw a tantrum that Odango Atama didn’t know how to handle, so I did. I think she’s starting to pick some discipline cues from me, though. Noticed that yesterday.

Usagi thinks I should be more feminine, wear tighter clothes and put on make up. I tried to explain… but she didn’t understand. Said people would look down on me. As if they didn’t have a dozen other reasons to do that anyway! I understand her heart was in the right place and I appreciate the feeling, but I really love being who I am and wouldn’t change myself back into a girly girl for a million dollars.

A part of me was hurt she kept on pushing no matter how much I tried to make her understand. I do know she’s from a small town where fitting in and what others think of you matter, but even there, I’d still go for being myself. Uncensored. Like I said, I appreciate the feeling and perhaps, she’ll come around in time, see the advantages of living on a big city. I mean, she’s been here less than a year. It’s only logical she’d still have a small town mentality.

Keep forgetting Odango Atama is from Tandil because she’s an art teacher, a personal trainer and for some reason knows how to fire a gun. She’s promised to teach me how to shoot if I teach her archery. This is going to be a very interesting summer and there’s so much I want to do! I’ve never had a chance to spend a summer with Michiru before. Back in high school, our families kept us apart with holidays and other stuff and last year we had that misunderstanding during the winter… Looking forward to summer. It used to be my favorite season as a kid.

I took the nicest nap at Miss Helga’s waiting room. LOL I took the 3DS with me but catching up on sleep was more important, it seems. Miss Helga wants to have an interview with me next week  (Thursday) so she can bring me up to date on Hotaru’s progress. She’s absolutely infatuated with the kid, so hopefully, it’ll be good news. She did say the little firefly was particularly well behaved today. I wonder why.

Then we bought milk and juice on our way home. The walk was very nice and, by the time I got here, I felt ready for bed. Mom arrived a few minutes later and we tackled the gargantuan task of sorting through Hotaru’s clothes and toys. There was SO MUCH that doesn’t fit or hasn’t gotten attention from her anymore, whatever charity gets those bags will be lucky. Mom wanted to just tidy up as quickly as possible, but I insisted we were thorough.

I went through every single basket and pile of toys and sorted everything into piles on Hotaru’s bed by cathegories. Shopkins, Littlest Pet Shops, LalaLoopsies, My Little Ponies, and a VERY long etcetera. Then, I placed everything on its designated drawer or plastic container (after mom had rinsed them with lysol) and she put them on Hotaru’s doll house, since she has made it very clear that dolls don’t hold her attention for long.

It took longer than we expected, but it was well worth it. Hotaru’s room does look like a proper little girl’s dormitory now rather than a sty. And everything is at hand, especially the things she uses the most. I wanted to take a picture but, by the time we were done with it, I only had enough spare energy to crawl to the bathroom and take a quick shower. After that, I was on auto pilot. Yet, I managed to get a lot more done.

Mom and I did another batch of laundry, changed Hotaru’s sheets, and then I got dinner started right before she left. Then the kid and I watched an episode of Mr. Selfridge (she’s grounded because Chibi Usa and her hid from Odango Atama and I again today after I made it clear yesterday that it was a huge no-no), as she can’t choose what to watch tonight and has to join in on whatever I watch if she wants to.

Then she went to her room to play with her toys while I worked on my fanart some more. I managed to finish Haruka, too. Go me! Michiru has been working on a secret art project for the past two weeks. She says it’s a surprise so I’m not allowed to see it and she won’t even give me a hint, but insists I’m gonna love it. I wonder what she’s drawing. It can’t be one of the beasts for her bestiary illustration book, because she’s never made a fuss over them before.

Hotaru wanted to do a quick craft before bedtime, so we painted with cardboard on a sheet of paper. It was fun, twisting the cardboard pieces and cord into strange shapes before dipping them in paint. They made for the weirdest ponies I’ve ever seen. Still, it was fun. I’ve seen they’ve used that technique before at her school, so the rules were very clear.

Hotaru’s class studied medieval stained glass while she was sick so she missed the only decent craft they did this year, which sucks. Luckily for her, I’ve done some pretty decent stained glass crafts myself when I was in elementary school, so I signed up for the challenge. We’re making our own stained glass projects this week and they’ll be MUCH more elaborated than the ones they did at school, with real paint on the film and an actual motif rather than just glueing colored paper to a translucent plastic. Yes, they can’t even get THAT right at her school… and even medieval folks did!

The idea is to cover Hotaru’s bedroom window glasses with the stained glass, so the light that comes through her window in the morning is all fun and colorful. Also, I’d like to make some crepe paper flowers to decorate the living room. Spring is finally here and I want to celebrate!

 

Close call

Had an interview with a court psychiatrist this morning. Mom came with me and entertained Hotaru while I was in that man’s office. He was nice and polite. Sadly misinformed, though. More than half the record wasn’t there as it still hadn’t reached his department so I had to fill him in on all the other charges that I had pressed and hadn’t been documented at the time he got his update. It was extenuating and he didn’t seem too involved with his job.

The questions were pretty medical like had I had any surgeries in the past or did I have trouble sleeping or suffer from nightmares. He asked if I was going to therapy and if I took any medication (saying no was great! I love having quit clonazepam! I’m very proud of myself and I hate that I have Dr. Tomoe’s nastiness to thank for quitting but, to be fair, it was his fault I had to take it to begin with so we’re kinda even, I guess).

Then he asked me if I was traumatized by everything that had happened to me. And I was like: “Uh… I don’t know. You’re the expert. You tell me. I’m a dress maker, how on Earth should I know if I’m traumatized?” We went though that three times before he understood I wasn’t going to give him a yes/no answer. After all, who am I to know if I am? I don’t think so, but I know little of psychiatry, really.

After that, mom, Hotaru and I went to the eye doctor for the kid’s check up. He said she can go back to school but that she has to keep using eye drops two times a day for another week. My! This one is really tough to beat!

Anyway… I started an embroidery project a couple of days ago to take this whole legal stuff off my head. It’s one of Hotaru’s pillow cases. We’ll see how it goes. I’ve also been advancing my Teal blanket project this past two weeks and teaching Hotaru how to crochet (thought the blanket it knitted, not crocheted). I still think she’s a tad too young (or needs more patience) for this kind of project. It frustrated her too much so I suggested we put it off until her fine motor skills get better.

Oh, one of Hotaru’s lower teeth is moving so it will be falling off soon, which is excellent news considering the last two had to be pulled out by a dentist and it was quite traumatic for the poor darling. Mom and I encourage her to move it as much as possible so they won’t have to pull it off. She needs to have it fall off on its own. I really hope she doesn’t have to get this one pulled off as well. The poor kid deserves to go through the experience of having her teeth fall on their own.

Hotaru and Lana have become super close since she’s moved back to her room. They sleep together and play together and watch TV. It’s super cute to watch them interact and I’m often summoned to her room to take pictures because Hotaru wants me to take a zillion of them. She is completely in love with that cat ^^

I had to ground Hotaru indefinitely today because we went out shopping for groceries and were on our way home carrying way too many bags when she dashed to cross the street instead of holding my arm (my hands weren’t free because of the bags!) and waiting for my signal as usual. She had a close encounter with a black minivan and I had to pull her by the hair (the only thing I managed to get a hold on) at the last second to get her out of the way.

She was unharmed, of course, because I have impeccable reflexes, but it was SUPER scary and I blame myself for not being strict enough on her and trusting too much in her excellent behavior. Hotaru is so grown up like, I sometimes forget she’s still just six and this reminded me of that. I will never be this careless again. She’ll either stay at home or walk right next to me the entire time whenever I need to buy food.

Dad had invited us over for dinner, but I declined. I was too stressed after the car incident to have a festive disposition. I stayed home and embroided like crazy while watching Call the Nurse.

 

Cancelled plans

Today was a super quiet day. Mom picked Hotaru up at noon so I could go to the clinic and have them run some tests on me as a follow up appointment for last week’s UTI treatment.

I spent three hours in that stupid place, but I was smart about it so it was less boring than usual. First, I have them admit me and then asked them how many people there was ahead of me. They said around twenty and that I should go get some coffee and come back in two hours. I was like “Really? Coffee? Right after a UTI?? Real smart of you, people!” But I didn’t say it.

Instead, I roamed the ground floor catching pokemon and spinning the two poke stops nearby. The waiting room is on the second underground floor so I had no intentions of going down there until the very last minute. The air down there is super dense and I don’t want to catch anything so yeah.

A while later, I asked how many people were there ahead of me now and they said three so I went down and had my tests done. Then I texted Michiru asking if she wanted to do something together, as I was a mere ten blocks from her house, but she reminded me that she was meeting her friend Tami and lending her a hand around the house. I felt super stupid because she had told me about that before, but I had been under so much stress lately I completely forgot about it.

Anyway, we agreed that we’d meet later even if it was for just half an hour and she promised to text me when she was free.

I went home and had something to eat and derped around until Michiru said she was on her way. Mom also called, to let me know she’d drop Hotaru home at about eight thirty.

Michiru got here at around seven and we made out in the sofa after silently deciding going out could wait considering it had been forever since we had been home alone like that. Mom interrupted to inform me that she was taking Hotaru to the supermarket with her and would be late. After that, Michiru and I transferred to the bedroom.

I won’t get into detail, but it was amazing. I wish we had more time for foreplay because I’m a sucker for old school romance, but the time we had together was well spent and much needed. Not because of a physical thing, but because I think adults really need some time alone to bond and talk about grown up stuff or just lay in bed naked talking about pokemon go and other nonsense to unwind. I really love the way the three of us work as a family, but sometimes I really need some grown up space. Even if there wasn’t anything physical between Michiru and I, the need for a place where I don’t have to be constantly censuring myself around her would be just as important.

On a completely unrelated note: God, I love that woman. She’s so freakin’ perfect in every respect I could listen to her for hours at a time and never get bored! I wish this whole courtroom drama was over so I could propose to her. Or live with her. Or be able to tell Hotaru about us. I really hate being closeted, even if it’s just to my child.

Later on, we got dressed and I walked Michiru to the bus stop. I just love waiting for buses with her. The most unthinkable conversations and debates take place in such circumstances and making out is also great ^//^  There was a creep there who made stupid and inappropriate comments, but I asked him “WHAT!?” and she gave him a death stare that rendered him speechless so that was that.

Then I walked back home and mom brought Hotaru a little while later and we had a quiet night in watching the final episodes of my Spanish soap opera about spies and Nazis.

 

Dr. Tomoe: the stuff nightmares are made of

Today was one of the most stressful days I’ve had in the past year. Got up super early to get to my court hearing. I was in such a rush I forgot to remove Lana’s food from within her reach so she could get her blood work this afternoon, so that was a miss.

Then I got there five minutes late and, upon entering the building, I saw someone I recognized through the corner of my eye while the guards where checking my ID. Turns out Dr. Tomoe was leaning on a trash container outside the building and I had walked right past him on my way in. He looked like he was waiting for someone and I was afraid he might have been following me (or worse, that we were supposed to have a hearing together!).

Once inside, I was told to sit in a waiting room and soon had him and his lawyer join me in there. I was hyperventilating BADLY and only manged to look like I was in perfect control of myself and above everyone and everything thanks to the autopilot function in my brain LOL. I was so nervous I looked calm, if that makes any sense to anyone else.

I sent a SOS text message to my mom (who was at the hospital with Leo because he was getting a blood transfusion to counter his low red cell count and what not), which she didn’t reply. Then I was asked to join him inside a private room, where the most incompetent and chauvinistic female (poor excuse of a) shrink I’ve ever met told us to sit down. I had asked her to seat him as far away from him as possible because he honestly frightens the hell out of me.

Then the nightmare began (or rather, continued as even seeing him is torture!). She would ask questions and he would misdirect them with biased scripted answers that were specifically designed by his slutty lawyer to make me look bad by targeting what they must have thought are my weakest points. The woman wasn’t even aware of the restraining order and said it was THAT what was a danger to Hotaru’s mental health rather than having an abusive pedophile for a father… YES! That’s right! Like Dr. Tomoe himself, she blamed ME!

She ate up every lie he told and looked at him with goo goo eyes while she would smirk at me with contempt and disapproval. It was very humiliating to have the two of them gang up on me and she even yelled at me in three different ocassions, one of which was when I was trying to defend my and Hotaru’s rights to stay away from him because of the restraining order. She told me I was no one to tell her how to do her job and that she had been a shrink for so many years yara yara. I was like “whatever but this is illegal, woman!” And well… it was a total mess. I was a nervous wreck, lucky for me I looked as smug as if I had the best card in my power, which must have been super disconcerting for her and Dr. Tomoe, both.

She wanted him to have a private audience with Hotaru for her to evaluate how they relate to one another. I was completely against this until the forensic team could determine whether or not he will be a threat to her in the future and then the woman yelled at me again. It was a nightmare. A total nightmare.

Mom was waiting for me outside when I got out. She had gotten my message eventually and had dashed there, where she had been eavesdropping through a crack in the panels. LOL. She said she was proud of me and the answers I gave and how I stood my ground letting that woman know that I didn’t want them alone together because I wouldn’t allow my daughter to ask me ten years from now why I didn’t protect her knowing the kind of monster he was. I literally told that poor excuse of a shrink that, but she insisted it was I who was in the wrong as women effectively should be confined to bed and kitchen for their male counterparts’ pleasure… or, at least she made that much understood, even if she didn’t SAY so that exact way.

I wasn’t particularly proud of the way I conducted myself, really. Au contraire, I felt like I had let myself down by not reacting in a smarter way (aka, calling my lawyer and telling him I was there in that illegal interview). Turns out they had been trying to reestablish Dr. Tomoe’s relationship with Hotaru through that interview because the other judge didn’t inform this one about the abuse and restraining order… which sucks.

I only learned that later, when mom and I dashed home to take Hotaru to school (she stayed home with Umi san) and then ran into Odango Atama, who told me that was illegal and that I should have called my lawyer the second I saw him. She asked me to call him that instant and I did. He scolded me for not calling him on the spot, which sounded really logic when they said it but, at the time didn’t cross my mind. In my defense, I was paralyzed by fear after he showed up there, completely unable of rational thought. I was in auto pilot!!

However, my Godsent lawyer told me that I was not to worry. He instructed me to stop by his office on Wednesday and sign some papers through which he would render that interview completely illegal and cancel the one that woman wanted to schedule for Hotaru and Mr. Tomoe alone. He swore to me that those statements would never be considered valid in either trial and reassured me that I hadn’t caused any permanent damage to our cause, so that was that.

Then I took Lana to the vet for her follow up appointment and explained the mess with the food. He said I should take her back some other day for the blood test and I will, as soon as everything calms down a notch.

The man said her paws are healing wonderfully, which was great news. I had guessed that much after hearing that Setsuna’s cat Ramses’s took two weeks to heal from similar wounds and seeing that Lana’s paws were completely healed today. It was such a relief to see her walk properly and play with toys. She loves to chase after little balls made of plastic bags ❤ Lana is such a cutie!

I was dying to see Michiru today. I really needed the comfort only a hug can give, but she had been working too much and she’s also working tomorrow, so I decided to toughen up and deal with my own discomfort. Also, I pledged that I would quit taking clonazepam today although I was only taking 1/4 of a 0.5mg tablet a day which is approximately 0.125… which is nothing at all.

Still, having him call me all those names and stupid things that I know aren’t true hurt really bad, not because I care about what he thinks, but because he showed me that he can still sway anyone’s opinion to match his, no matter how qualified in dealing with psychos like him they are. So I wanted to get back at him somehow, and what better way than quitting the meds his perversion had pushed me into needing? It served the double purpose of “vengeance” (even though he would never know lol) and self betterment, which suited me fine.

But that’s not all, the day goes on and on. Tomorrow is Chibi Usa’s birthday but Odango Atama doesn’t have the funds to rent a place and throw her a proper birthday party, not even to invite all their class to their house for quieter fun. Instead, they’re having a family lunch which can feel unfair to a six year old.

With that on mind, I had arranged for Hotaru and Chibi Usa to have a play date today and insisted on not cancelling it in spite of everything. Odango Atama was grateful for it, I guess. Especially because Hotaru and I waited for them at the school entrance after class with a HUGE bucked filled with presents Odango Atama couldn’t afford and wheat free snacks for Chibi Usa to eat.

I think all little girls deserve to have amazing birthdays, so I made balloon animals for the girls (poodles and jumping rats, mostly), organized games for them with the bubble makers I bought them and then had a nice long chat with Odango Atama. I think she needed the break as much as I did. Her problems with Mamoru are as twisted and complicated as mine with Dr. Tomoe.

The girls had a jump competition with their jumping rats and ran after the bubbles, then climbed a tree and drank juice with their snacks. It was fun for everyone and we hope to organize another playdate soon.

At home, exhaustion dawned on me and I felt lonely again. I would have wanted to have my mom here at least but she was in hospital with Leo so yeah… it was just Hotaru and I and the Spanish soap opera I’ve been watching. Luckily for me it was SUPER interesting and that was just what I needed to take my mind off everything that happened today.

Uneasiness

Spent the afternoon at the park catching pokemon after dropping Hotaru at school. I really needed the break. Couldn’t stop thinking about tomorrow and dreading it for no apparent reason, although I feel like I should be calm about it and actually am at times, when I manage to tell myself it’s just another audience for the millionth time.

Had lunch at Subway, which was nice for a chance and then picked the little firefly up from school and returned to the park with her, She is still grounded but I thought she deserved the break. Catching half a dozen pokemon for a while won’t turn her into a spoiled brat and she still has 23 hours to be grounded with no entertainment to think about what she’s done and how she wants to behave at the dentist’s office next time we get an appointment.

Lana visits the Vet

Took Lana to the vet at last today. He cut her claws and disinfected the wounds in her paws with some antiseptic. Then injected her with some antibiotics and the same painkillers I used on Remus, which was super sad to watch. It wrung my heart and gave me an anxiety attack but I was strong and breathed through it. He said I should return on Friday for a second shot of antibiotics and also get a bloodwork done to make sure her kidneys are still working properly. He said that’s important because, by the time you see renal failure symptoms, 80% of the damage is already done so it’s good to know whether to switch her to renal food now or not.

Hotaru has been bored out of her mind since I grounded her yesterday. Her approach to the matter had initially been “I’ll sleep and watch Lana until I’m not grounded anymore” but today she was too frustrated to sleep and chose to watch my every move, with the result that she ended up second hand watching the Spanish novel I had been watching about spies over my shoulder to the point where she learned the names of the main characters and often mentioned them while playing make believe with her toys. LOL

That’s a whole new level of boredom I hadn’t seen in her yet. It was mildly amusing. I wish I could feel sorry for her, but after the stunt she pulled on me yesterday at the dentist’s office, I stand by my decision and hope she really is bored out of her mind so the next time she’ll cooperate with the Dr.

The kid was interested in learning more about the Nazis because this novel kept talking about them (though the images and conversations were completely age appropriate, it was all very subtle). I briefly explained and then she said she wanted to kill them all so they wouldn’t try to kill more Jews. It was such a bizarre conversation to be having with a six year old. Still, it was nice to see her interested in history and geography rather than videogames for a change.

Leo was admitted into the hospital again tonight. Apparently he wasn’t feeling well, though mom didn’t go into details when she texted me to let me know that.

Grounded: A dental nightmare

I took Hotaru to the dentist today. It was lucky her school was on break over some teacher’s meeting of some sort because her new dentist only works during either her school hours, or the time she spends at therapy, which is super inconvenient, but it is what it is.

We had a great time at the waiting room, revising her Japanese words (animals, colors, fruits and veggies) and then she promised she’d be a good girl and let the dentist work on her this time as she had sworn that woman last time.

Thing is we went up after a long wait and she was all right-ish until the woman was about to use the anesthetic on her but the second Hotaru saw the needle she went absolutely crazy and cried and yelled and overall refused to be treated. I was forced to wait outiside by the dentist, which I personally think was a MASSIVE FAIL on her part, because it’s easier to plead, threaten and negotiate from up close.

Anyhow, she said she couldn’t work like that and I insisted that she tried again… three times I insisted and talked to Hotaru and tried everything in my book but nope. She just wouldn’t allow this woman to use the anesthetic and she wouldn’t work without it so yeah… we were kicked out of there and I was VERY pissed off. I mean, it wasn’t the humiliation, which I really couldn’t care less about, but the fact that she didn’t want to eat at night because it hurt too much sometimes and the broken promise.

The dentist’s attitude irked me as well. She wasn’t very creative and went useless the second Hotaru stopped cooperating. Her previous dentists had been smarter in that department. I had an inkling this might happen during our last visit, but I wanted to remain hopeful. If I’m not allowed into the room it’s obvious all sorts of hell will break loose because I can’t do damage control from outside.

I scolded her all the way home ](four blocks) and then she took a short nap while I calmed down. Then we went to therapy. Her analyst made her promise for the zillionth time that she’d get treated without complaining next time, but I’m not buying it anymore and, anyway, she’s grounded until further notice. No TV, no computer, no dessert and no to anything else she asks.

Mine said I had progressed A LOT since last week after I explained how I got over my feeling alone and that I had started painting again and taking the time to focus on myself as well as Hotaru. She really thinks that I’m a great parent and that I should worry less about the parenting and separate more time to do self care and things that are good for me so I can keep my sanity. I never thought I would say this about a shrink, but I have to admit the woman does have a point. I’m gonna miss her when she takes her maternity leave.