So, right after my last post I got a very serious and very unknown condition that almost takes my life. It seems years of antibiotics and NSAIDs did something to my microbiome that made my immune system react to… well, everything, really, from taking a hot shower or being under the sun to dust, cat dandruff and all foods except for zucchini and plain rice. Fun, huh? Two years of that. I ended up weighing 68 lbs due to muscular loss since I couldn’t tolerate any whole protein for the longest time. I spent most of my time bedridden, as not to “waste” whatever nourishment I got from food in vain.
This was in the middle of the 2020 COVID-19 outbreak and, secluded as we were by isolation, I couldn’t ask my mother or aunt (or anybody, really) for help. In the meanwhile, my then wife who was unemployed and not looking, refused to clean the toilets, vacuum (you know, things a sick man needs to thrive since dust triggered my anaphylaxis) or do anything around the house, really, other than playing dinosaur video games for hours at end. We couldn’t afford for someone to come clean the house for us unless she got a job, something she refused and even refused to sign up for a lower plan at her health care provider so we could afford it… well, we means me, since it was money from my hotel that kept us going.
By the way, she had to take over the job (which demands 2 hours of involvement a week TOPS!) and let the place fall to poop, failing to provide basic services so everyone left except for two girls and we had really little money… but she insisted on getting pregnant through In-vitro and then used it as an excuse to do even less (thank goodness she had a miscarriage!!!) and started mistreating Hotaru. She refused to buy her clothes even though she had outgrown her entire wardrobe “since she won’t be going anywhere in this pandemic” and had her wearing only her pajamas for two years. Then, when things got a bit better economically she even refused to buy Hotaru fruits and healthy food “because it’s too expensive” and fed her junk instead, making the poor child gain weight until she was 8lbs overweight.
And that makes no sense because Tomoe-Sensei sends enough money each month to cover for Hotaru’s expenses, something I explained to her ad nausea but she wouldn’t budge. Or would say yes just to placate me and then continue to buy junk and not buy clothes for Hotaru. Also, she’d treat her poorly, make fun of her and nag her constantly. Oh, and did I mention my ex-wife didn’t shower? She’d shower every 6 or so WEEKS. Toilets? She’d clean them every 4 to 5 weeks. Shower? Bi-annually. The house was a mess and full of dirty laundry and dishes. She hoarded cardbox and empty bottles too and the two times I tried to set up a small business for her to run she declined because “it bored her”. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, but I don’t have enough time to condensate two years of neglect into one post. Just know that it was tough.
All the while, I could eat only two things and was bedridden for most of the day… I visited and had Zoom appointments with at least 70 doctors of all specialties (both from the free healthcare system and private medicine), from gastroenterology to immunology and none knew what the hell was wrong with me. Most thought I just needed a shrink, which was not only hurtful but a waste of my time and limited energy. Dust closed my throat so I needed the house to be clean in order to be able to… well… live, thrive, breathe, eat, you name it. But she allowed the place to go potty on purpose so I would have to stay trapped in the bedroom upstairs while she enjoyed my house, pets and daughter… oh and spent my money too!
My mother and I both started desperately investigating online until we came across with some health supplements, vitamins and probiotics that helped people with similar conditions and I started taking them, but it was too much for my body in the beginning, even the best of supplements had to be taken every other day until I improved enough to tolerate them several times a day as prescribed. Still, it seemed to work and I started getting a little better. Then my luck changed and more people started coming back into the hotel as the quarantine lifted and there was more money to go around, but it was still dangerous to hire someone to clean the house because I was so weak, the COVID-19 virus would surely kill me. That’s when she started getting cranky and moody and picking fights with me over everything. She’d get irritated that I couldn’t do things and yell at me for expecting her to help around since she wasn’t bringing anymoney home.
Still refused to buy Hotaru clothes and high quality food and got bitchier the better I got, for I started getting better when I was finally able to tolerate probiotic supplements. The more I took, the better I was. I was able to eat quinoa as a protein source and gained back some weight, spent some hours off the bed though being downstairs still triggered my flare ups. So I got tired and asked the tenants to deposito the money directly into MY account rather than handing it over to my ex-wife. And then something magical happened… MONEY APPEARED!!! She used to say there was not enough money for my medicines or clothes or food and suddenly there was PLENTY of money available… But I got a very cranky wife in exchange. Seems she’d been lying to me about the price of things and sending money to her mother and sister. I mean, I’m not a scrooge, if they needed money I could have lent it to them, but I hate being stolen from. In her eyes, however, it wasn’t stealing since we were married. Well, that might be true from a legal point of view, but if it’s my money from my job that I got from my inheritance and she gives it away without me knowing, it feels a lot like stealing. Just sayin’…
As I got better and stronger, I argued back and there were endless yelling matches that lasted for hours and tortured both Hotaru who had to hear them and me who had to endure them for there was NOTHING I could say to end them other than giving in to her ridiculous whims… and I do not negotiate with terrorists. So it was awful because arguing made me nervous and stress triggered my condition so I was poorly again for a while and barely ate. I got so tired of it all that I even asked her to leave, several times. I told her that even if I was very sick and needed help, she should go to her mother’s because I could call mine to lend a hand if push came to shove, but I could no longer endure living in such a horrible environment. And the bitch said “I won’t leave just because you ask. I’ll leave this house whenever the fuck I want and right now I don’t feel like it. Maybe after I find a job.” Which of course she didn’t.
I started ignoring her in hopes she’d leave me alone enough to eat without stressing me with pointless arguments but it only made it worse. At some point it was so awful I started picking fights with her and being unpleasant in order to make her uncomfortable. I mean, she said she’d leave whenever she wanted, I just had to make her want it, right? Since I couldn’t get her to understand the marriage was over. Several times I asked her for a divorce and she refused and asked to keep trying… my relatives suggested I didn’t divorce “for Hotaru’s sake” as if the poor child could thrive in such a house! I felt pushed around from all angles. It was horrible.
In the end, one day she and I were arguing as usual and she told me “You know what? I’m getting tired of you, if you keep being unpleasant I might leave, even without a job!” And I said “Wonderful! When exactly are you leaving? Today? Tomorrow!?” Because I knew it was a once in a lifetime chance. Everyone tells me she must have been waiting for me to die so she could ship Hotaru back to Mr. Tomoe for him to rape her at his heart’s content and inherit the house and everything else. That’s why she was so keen on getting pregnant, I think. To make sure she’d keep inheriting things from my side of the family once my mother and uncle passed, because her kid would have been legally mine and she’d have those properties to manage until he came of age.
She must have been bluffing because she tried to back pedal by saying she needed weeks to collect and pack her stuff and then find a truck… but it was too late, I wasn’t going to let that chance escape my hands. I told her “no, if you wanna leave, then do so right now and then you can come back for your things whenever”. And so, she was out, at last.