Today was one of the most stressful days I’ve had in the past year. Got up super early to get to my court hearing. I was in such a rush I forgot to remove Lana’s food from within her reach so she could get her blood work this afternoon, so that was a miss.
Then I got there five minutes late and, upon entering the building, I saw someone I recognized through the corner of my eye while the guards where checking my ID. Turns out Dr. Tomoe was leaning on a trash container outside the building and I had walked right past him on my way in. He looked like he was waiting for someone and I was afraid he might have been following me (or worse, that we were supposed to have a hearing together!).
Once inside, I was told to sit in a waiting room and soon had him and his lawyer join me in there. I was hyperventilating BADLY and only manged to look like I was in perfect control of myself and above everyone and everything thanks to the autopilot function in my brain LOL. I was so nervous I looked calm, if that makes any sense to anyone else.
I sent a SOS text message to my mom (who was at the hospital with Leo because he was getting a blood transfusion to counter his low red cell count and what not), which she didn’t reply. Then I was asked to join him inside a private room, where the most incompetent and chauvinistic female (poor excuse of a) shrink I’ve ever met told us to sit down. I had asked her to seat him as far away from him as possible because he honestly frightens the hell out of me.
Then the nightmare began (or rather, continued as even seeing him is torture!). She would ask questions and he would misdirect them with biased scripted answers that were specifically designed by his slutty lawyer to make me look bad by targeting what they must have thought are my weakest points. The woman wasn’t even aware of the restraining order and said it was THAT what was a danger to Hotaru’s mental health rather than having an abusive pedophile for a father… YES! That’s right! Like Dr. Tomoe himself, she blamed ME!
She ate up every lie he told and looked at him with goo goo eyes while she would smirk at me with contempt and disapproval. It was very humiliating to have the two of them gang up on me and she even yelled at me in three different ocassions, one of which was when I was trying to defend my and Hotaru’s rights to stay away from him because of the restraining order. She told me I was no one to tell her how to do her job and that she had been a shrink for so many years yara yara. I was like “whatever but this is illegal, woman!” And well… it was a total mess. I was a nervous wreck, lucky for me I looked as smug as if I had the best card in my power, which must have been super disconcerting for her and Dr. Tomoe, both.
She wanted him to have a private audience with Hotaru for her to evaluate how they relate to one another. I was completely against this until the forensic team could determine whether or not he will be a threat to her in the future and then the woman yelled at me again. It was a nightmare. A total nightmare.
Mom was waiting for me outside when I got out. She had gotten my message eventually and had dashed there, where she had been eavesdropping through a crack in the panels. LOL. She said she was proud of me and the answers I gave and how I stood my ground letting that woman know that I didn’t want them alone together because I wouldn’t allow my daughter to ask me ten years from now why I didn’t protect her knowing the kind of monster he was. I literally told that poor excuse of a shrink that, but she insisted it was I who was in the wrong as women effectively should be confined to bed and kitchen for their male counterparts’ pleasure… or, at least she made that much understood, even if she didn’t SAY so that exact way.
I wasn’t particularly proud of the way I conducted myself, really. Au contraire, I felt like I had let myself down by not reacting in a smarter way (aka, calling my lawyer and telling him I was there in that illegal interview). Turns out they had been trying to reestablish Dr. Tomoe’s relationship with Hotaru through that interview because the other judge didn’t inform this one about the abuse and restraining order… which sucks.
I only learned that later, when mom and I dashed home to take Hotaru to school (she stayed home with Umi san) and then ran into Odango Atama, who told me that was illegal and that I should have called my lawyer the second I saw him. She asked me to call him that instant and I did. He scolded me for not calling him on the spot, which sounded really logic when they said it but, at the time didn’t cross my mind. In my defense, I was paralyzed by fear after he showed up there, completely unable of rational thought. I was in auto pilot!!
However, my Godsent lawyer told me that I was not to worry. He instructed me to stop by his office on Wednesday and sign some papers through which he would render that interview completely illegal and cancel the one that woman wanted to schedule for Hotaru and Mr. Tomoe alone. He swore to me that those statements would never be considered valid in either trial and reassured me that I hadn’t caused any permanent damage to our cause, so that was that.
Then I took Lana to the vet for her follow up appointment and explained the mess with the food. He said I should take her back some other day for the blood test and I will, as soon as everything calms down a notch.
The man said her paws are healing wonderfully, which was great news. I had guessed that much after hearing that Setsuna’s cat Ramses’s took two weeks to heal from similar wounds and seeing that Lana’s paws were completely healed today. It was such a relief to see her walk properly and play with toys. She loves to chase after little balls made of plastic bags ❤ Lana is such a cutie!
I was dying to see Michiru today. I really needed the comfort only a hug can give, but she had been working too much and she’s also working tomorrow, so I decided to toughen up and deal with my own discomfort. Also, I pledged that I would quit taking clonazepam today although I was only taking 1/4 of a 0.5mg tablet a day which is approximately 0.125… which is nothing at all.
Still, having him call me all those names and stupid things that I know aren’t true hurt really bad, not because I care about what he thinks, but because he showed me that he can still sway anyone’s opinion to match his, no matter how qualified in dealing with psychos like him they are. So I wanted to get back at him somehow, and what better way than quitting the meds his perversion had pushed me into needing? It served the double purpose of “vengeance” (even though he would never know lol) and self betterment, which suited me fine.
But that’s not all, the day goes on and on. Tomorrow is Chibi Usa’s birthday but Odango Atama doesn’t have the funds to rent a place and throw her a proper birthday party, not even to invite all their class to their house for quieter fun. Instead, they’re having a family lunch which can feel unfair to a six year old.
With that on mind, I had arranged for Hotaru and Chibi Usa to have a play date today and insisted on not cancelling it in spite of everything. Odango Atama was grateful for it, I guess. Especially because Hotaru and I waited for them at the school entrance after class with a HUGE bucked filled with presents Odango Atama couldn’t afford and wheat free snacks for Chibi Usa to eat.
I think all little girls deserve to have amazing birthdays, so I made balloon animals for the girls (poodles and jumping rats, mostly), organized games for them with the bubble makers I bought them and then had a nice long chat with Odango Atama. I think she needed the break as much as I did. Her problems with Mamoru are as twisted and complicated as mine with Dr. Tomoe.
The girls had a jump competition with their jumping rats and ran after the bubbles, then climbed a tree and drank juice with their snacks. It was fun for everyone and we hope to organize another playdate soon.
At home, exhaustion dawned on me and I felt lonely again. I would have wanted to have my mom here at least but she was in hospital with Leo so yeah… it was just Hotaru and I and the Spanish soap opera I’ve been watching. Luckily for me it was SUPER interesting and that was just what I needed to take my mind off everything that happened today.
Bringing up FIREFLIES 