Long weekend

Yes, I’ve been super MIA. I know. I haven’t been in the mood for writing lately. I’m still too shocked and sad by Leo’s passing. I hadn’t recovered from what happened to Mr. Remus yet (he was our pet bunny) and now this… I’ve never had a healthy relationship with death. It terrifies the hell out of me and this keeps me in a gloomy mood.

Still, I’ve been trying my best to stay active and put on a strong face for Hotaru’s sake. There’s lots of news, too.  All of them wonderful.

Mom promised Hotaru she’d give us her old Christmas Tree as it was too huge for her now that she’ll be moving into a small apartment. Hotaru was thrilled, but also felt a little guilty about her not having her own tree, so we worked on this project. I think it came out amazing. We worked on it for about five days and Hotaru did all the difficult work. I just carved the tree shape with an exacto knife and glued the parts together.

Hotaru painted it and then designed the decorations and made most of them out of cold porcelain. I only made the reindeer and the dove. The kid modeled the sledge, mini Santa, mini elf, present box, candy cane and all the tiny balls. We gave it to mom last Saturday.

Mom absolutely loved it. She was very touched by the gift and said it was the best Christmas Tree she’s had in her entire life. She’s also cleared an entire table at her house to place it. Hotaru was beyond happy to learn this. She also said it was a little sad the project was over, and that she would miss working on it.

I would have suggested we made another one, but there’s so much Christmas baking waiting for us (and in this weather ugh!) and then there’s the home made crackers… we’ll have more than enough to keep us busy.

Yesterday, I signed the second part of the paperwork needed to sell the house so we got half of the money already. I think we’ll be signing the last batch of papers on January 9th, but I’m not sure. I had never seen so many dollars together in my life. I wasn’t too impressed though. I don’t value money much to be honest. I’d rather be happy with those I hold close to my heart.

In fact, having to count all that money to make sure it was all there, was a HUGE nuisance. Especially with everyone else talking and swapping phone numbers. They were super distracting and the constant whispering of numbers forced me to start over several times. By the end, I felt murderous. I’m lucky I’ll never have a job that requires me to constantly count money because it would be most frustrating.

Both the other sellers, my old neighbors Susan and Karina, were in awe of Hotaru. They had seen her last weekend when she spent the night at mom’s. They were both very impressed by her vocabulary and general knowledge, as well as her speech pattern. They said it sounds very adult like. They don’t know half of it LOL. The kid is such a genius ❤

(Above – Left to right: Chibi Usa, Lulu, Hotaru, Valu)
(Below – Left to right: Andy-sensei, Chibi Usa, Valu, Hotaru)

Hotaru had an event at school last week. The school teachers gave a speech, then Valu’s mom did the same representing the lot of us. The teachers made out kids enter the stage holding a red candle and sing a song for us. It was super cute. They also gave her a medal and a diploma which I consider ridiculous, as they’re not finishing college or anything but whatever. The kid loved it. She’s happy with her medal and carried it everywhere for a few days. That’s what counts.

The kid discovered a new anime that I didn’t know about. It’s called Go! Princess Precure! And we absolutely love it. The main character is a silly girl named Haruka and one of her best friends is called Minami Kaidou… and she’s a total Michiru ripoff. I love this fact, though I think that making her play the violin on top of everything else was a bit overkill. It’s also about 50 episodes long so we’ll be entertained for a long while. Hotaru was sad when Glitter Force was over so this is good news for us.

This was a long weekend. We did plenty of things. Hotaru and I had dinner at my dad’s which was unexpectedly fun. I mean, I enjoy spending time with him but, with my aunt and Sandra and Ruben out of town at the beach house, I didn’t expect to have a blast. We totally did. Sang all night while he played his guitar and dinner was excellent. Even Hotaru joined us for some of the folk songs. She tried to mimic me and learn the lyrics (because she can’t read well enough to read them off the song book yet). It was SO ADORABLE ❤

Hotaru’s friend Phillip invited her over to his house on Friday. They spent the afternoon playing Pokemon TCG and swapping pokemon from 3DS to 3DS as they both own many of the franchise games but in different versions. We have Y and he has X, we have Black and he has White, etcetera. They also went upstairs to their terrace and played with water. Phillip’s mom said they completely drenched the dog and the neighbor LOL. The woman is nice and they live four blocks from where we’ll be moving but she’s too old and doesn’t understand half the things both kids and I talk about.

Michiru and I went on a date to the movies. ^^ We watched Underworld Blood Wars. It was great. I loved it as an action film, but having grown up playing Vampire the Masquerade and other World of Darkness tabletop RPG games, I felt I didn’t believe some parts of the plot. I hated it as a sequel to the saga, even though I loved the movie itself. I know I should be more open minded and understand that Underworld isn’t White Wolf’s WoD, but still… those white haired vampires are SO LAME, they could be Edward Cullen’s long lost cousins. And that’s all I’m gonna say about it. Been bitching about it to the D&D guys all week. I want them to watch it so we can all comment on the subject. Agus promised he would.

Back to the date, it was sweet. We walked to the mall, ordered some food while we chatted about untranscendental things and discussed our daddy issues for such a long time after dinner, we would have completely missed the movie if I hadn’t casually asked what time it was. I thought we still had some time before the movie started and wanted to make sure we didn’t forget about it but when we looked at the time, it was seven minutes past the time printed on the tickets!! We dashed upstairs and were lucky they were showing other movie trailers.

It has been exactly eleven years since the last time Michiru and I went to the movies together. We went to see Constantine back in 2005, though neither of us paid any attention to the movie back then. Underworld we did watch. We no longer have raging hormones and I was really looking forward to this movie. Besides, I love just sitting next to her. Makes me happy. We walked home and watched another movie on the couch before I gave her a back rub and we went to bed, too exhausted to do anything but sleep. Man, we’re old! Officially middle aged LOL.

(Michiru took that pic at the shopping last week and she suggested the pose. It’s so funny ^^)

In the crafts department, Hotaru and I have made other things besides the tree. We made Yo-Kai watches with paper, coloring pencils and some glue.

Sunday, Michiru, Hotaru and I had lunch at my mom’s. It was the first time she officially spent time with Michiru. It was a great lunch. We talked about lots of interesting stuff while Hotaru played with water in the back yard, under my dead old Plum tree. Mom told Michiru funny anecdotes from when I was a child and they both praised Hotaru endlessly. I loved to see us all sharing a table like a family. Michiru even got Hotaru to eat carrots! And she asked for a second helping! Mom was impressed. I was speechless.

Hotaru improvised a tabletop RPG during the second half of our lunch. It involved cooking and some paranormal activity regarding green peas (it’s weird, I know!). She acted as a GM and narrated the story for us in a very mature way. She never ceases to amaze me. She even explained RPG games to my mom so she could play as well. Then, upon seeing her puzzled face, she told her “I think this might be a bit too complex for you, granny.” I laughed my butt off and I’m sure Michiru would have too hadn’t she been a bit intimidated by my mom.

Mom and I gave Michiru the grand tour of the house so she can get to know it before it’s demolished.

After that, Michiru  took Hotaru to the park and I went to Home Depo with Setsuna and her boyfriend. I thought she was driving, which scared me a bit, since she only got her licence two months ago. Luckily for me, it was the boyfriend who drove us there. We had a blast! There was SO MUCH to see. I helped her pick a bathroom curtain and a carpet for her living room. There was a sink I absolutely fell in love with. (The one below)

We tried half a dozen office chairs until both Setsuna and I found one we wanted, but mine was too expensive and will have to wait for another month and hers wasn’t boyfriend approved so she chose not to buy it in the end. I think that’s a mistake on her account. She has to trust her judgement and be her own woman, but I couldn’t tell her that in front of him so I’ll have to find the right moment to bring it up.

Today is Hotaru’s last day of school. I’m supposed to throw confetti at her but the party supply store was closed and now I’m crossing my fingers they’ll reopen when they say they will so I can get it before she gets out. I’m so excited about her going to Mugen Gakuen next year!!

Close encounter with death

Today was a strange day. It had a very unusual start, but a very fitting one for Thanksgiving (although we don’t officially celebrate it here in Argentina).

I woke up to my cat Lana yowling like crazy. I didn’t get what she meant but she did her best to get me out of bed. I didn’t want to. My body still felt heavy and my joints ached. Hotaru had spent the night at my mom’s and was supposed to take the little firefly straight to school. The official plan was to stay in bed until I had to pick her up. Umi san has her own set of keys so she would let herself out after cleaning the house.

Upon opening my eyes, I did register a faint gas odor, but I disregarded it because the only place that has a gas connection is the kitchen and that’s in the other end of the apartment. Besides, my sense of smell sucks big time. Why would I trust it?

Well, turns out it was right. Umi san had unintentionally left one of the stove knobs on ON after cleaning, but there was no flame. She probably ran the rag through the knobs and one of them just turned around without her noticing, as they’re very sensitive and her eyesight is poor.

Thing is, mom had a feeling she just HAD to stop by my place before dropping Hotaru at school and she, having the hound nose she has, panicked at once. She dashed into the kitchen, turned the stove off and opened all the windows in the house.

I was extremely lucky she decided to do so. I wouldn’t be alive now if she hadn’t. I was so sleepy and sluggish after being exposed to the gas for over an hour, that I couldn’t even help her open the windows. There’s one thing to be thankful for!

After that, we took Hotaru to school. Went to Mugen Gakuen to ask directions to the place that sells their uniform and planned to go there next when a delicious smell from the school’s buffet drew our attention. For old time’s sake, mom and I walked into the cafeteria and ordered today’s menu. Takikomi Gohan and Karaage (ironically, I wrote a short story named exactly that two nights ago!). She also ordered half a dozen Dorayaki and a bunch of fortune cookies because she was clearly in a playful mood (which is her way of grieving, trying to look super upbeat). Mom was nice enough to buy enough for Michiru as well, which is super kind of her.

Mom was so hungry she ate her Dorayaki on the spot while I took our bento home. Before we left, we ran into Misui sensei, my old headmistress, who asked if Hotaru had gotten a seat after all. She implied that it would have been sad that a girl who already speaks Japanese didn’t make it into the school and she looked genuinely happy to learn that the little firefly had been accepted.

We went to buy Hotaru’s uniform next. The place was only a couple of blocks from the school and the clothes are really adorable, yet sober. They have Mugen Gakuen’s logo all over them ❤

We only got the summer and winter uniform for the time being. I’ll have to come back later and get the gym uniform and the official one for ceremonies. But it’s smart of us to get it now. Prices always go up at the beginning of a school year. I’ll try calling the school soon to learn which gym set the girls use, as they’ve several options, depending on which sport your kid chooses.

I can’t believe how tall Hotaru has gotten lately! She’s wearing a size TEN already! And she’s merely six years old! But she can barely fit into a size eight and I seriously doubt she will by the end of the summer, after three months of swimming and running under the sun.

Mom and I ran into Odango Atama when picking Hotaru up. Usagi and Chibi Usa walked with us to our usual square but I was tired and wanted to get home as soon as possible, so we didn’t stop to play. I did stop for a minute to exchange a couple of words with Luz, Valentina’s mother because it has been ages since we’ve last spoken and we used to be quite close last year. Turns out her mother is still very ill so it makes perfect sense that she hasn’t been paying much attention to me or asking for play dates. It’s good to know it’s not personal. This way, I can still call her next year and see if she’d like to lend us her daughter for a couple of hours. Hotaru loves to play with her. Valentina and Chibi Usa are her best friends.

Michiru came home after work. Mom had left by then. Michiru and I had the obento mom bought for tea (it was beyond delicious!) and Hotaru nibbled on the Dorayaki and then had a cereal bar. Michiru wanted to go to the park, but I was still feeling tired so I declined. Instead, we chatted about silly stuff while Hotaru napped with the cat on the sofa and then all of us wathced Kung Fu Panda 3. I liked it but there were several parts that upset me… from a moral perspective. No spoilers, but the movie was OK after all.

Dinner was simple because of my lack of energy. I made it in a rush while Hotaru took a bath and it drained me. No normal flu that lasts this long usually goes away on its own and my throat still hurts, so I guess I’ll be needing antibiotics, but I’m still gonna hope for the best a couple more days before dragging myself to the Dr’s office, which is boring and unpleasant. I have to go there in a couple of days for a blood test and I’d like to see an eye doctor as well, so I’ll try to let things pile up and then see all the different doctors I need to see on the same day.

After dinner, Michiru took a shower and went straight to bed, while Hotaru and I stayed up. Sleeping right after dinner is not healthy and gives you nightmares, which we want to avoid.

Hotaru drew pictures in a story book she’s writing, while I finished my book on Japanese Sociology (started it yestereday… yes, I’m a very fast reader!). Then I read three Japanese bed time stories to her instead of Harry Potter or Narnia. I read her bedtime stories in Japanese at least once a week. I read every sentence and then say it in Spanish or English for her to understand the story fully and I can tell she has started to understand what’s going on without looking at the pictures or me translating.

Today it was one about a bus driver, one about a bunny and another one about a mouse and other animals who suffered from insomnia. We didn’t finish the last one because she was too sleepy, but it was too much like the one we read last time anyway, so no biggie. The art on that one was amazing, though, with a teal background and pastel colors. And such detail!

I had wanted to write tonight, but I don’t feel in the mood. My muse took the year off, it seems. I was feeling it a bit these past few days but I was too tired to even type. LOL

Don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but Franco told me last Saturday that he and his friend want me to teach them Japanese from level zero. I was beyond thrilled at the idea of going back to teaching, especially Japanese, which I love. Teaching Hotaru has been SO MUCH FUN I can’t wait to go back to it. But my everything hurt so I wasn’t able to display this joy so now Franco thinks I’m not too interested (not really my problem).

Well, today he said that two other friends of his want to join the class, so we’re talking a 3-4 students class. I’m so excited! He understands I’m still shaken over my step dad, so he was kind enough to say they would wait until I feel completely recovered to start talking schedules.

Funny fact, I think I might be a lot like my mom on this regard: I want to go back to work as soon as possible and do things that make me happy to help me palliate the pain of losing someone so important to me.

I was laying awake in bed the other night, crying my eyes out and then it hit me. I wasn’t able to do much for Leo this past year because of the court process against Dr. Tomoe, so I’ll try to stay close to his children and take care of them, help my (step)  brother and sister however I can. It’s what he would have done and it’s what I will do.

As soon as they’re back on their feet a bit, I’ll invite them (and mom) over for a family dinner and let them all know just how much they mean to me and that they can count on me for whatever they might need. Not only now, but in five years time or ten years time.

I wanted to ask mom to save one of his old ties for me, so I can wear it when Michiru and I get married next year, but so far I’ve been too much of a chicken and didn’t dare to bring him up if she didn’t… and she didn’t, of course. Because she doesn’t talk about feelings, especially if they’re anything but blissful.

Oh, Setsuna said we should get together and celebrate that I didn’t die today by crafting cute things out of cold porcelain, which is something we used to do a lot back in high school. I love the idea and it’s cheered me up a lot, just like the idea of teaching did. I miss spending lots of time with Setsuna. I’ve been wearing the clothes she’s given me almost every day now. They’re my favorite and make me feel close to her. Besides, everyone says they look dashing on me =P But, mostly, I wear them because I feel we’re close. ❤

I wish we lived closer by so we could spend more time together doing stuff. She’s been a bit under the weather too lately. Said she had the same symptoms I did so perhaps it’s an epidemic. Michiru’s mom and sister (and herself) felt like this too for a few days last week.

Home made hamburgers

Hotaru and I continued folding paper cranes. I bought more paper stacks today because we ran out of them last night. We strung the cranes we’ve made together with string and a needle. I used the needle and then the kid would line up the little cranes so that all the hears and tails were aligned and perfect. Then we hung them with the other ones we’ve done these past few days. I really love doing this kind of thing with her. Sharing crafts with her is magical. It’s something I adore and being able to do it with someone you love makes it even more special. And this is for a good cause too, so yeah.

The little firefly has confessed to have asked the first evening star for grandpa Leo to get better three times already. I hope he does pull through. For her sake, for my mom’s, for my brother and sister and for his mother… but also for me and because he deserves to get better.

Mom and our old neighbors have been trying to find a bank that will allow us three to open a shared account to put the money from the house sale but they ask for too many things and it’s inconvenient for us to go through all that paperwork when time is of the essence. So we’ve been desperately trying to find a place that will accomodate our needs and that closes late enough for our neighbors to get there after work. It’s been a challenge.

Also, I called Mugen Gakuen and asked for their bank account number so I can deposit the tuition money rather than taking it there and risking getting mugged. It’s a lot of money so I’m happy to do it virtually. I’ll have to wait until after the 15th for that, but that’s just life.

I went to Hotaru’s old clinic to get a copy of her vaccination card. Their system was down, so it took longer than usual to get it and I was sent home three times, but I insisted I could wait. I feared they might forget to do it if I left. It’s not the first time I’ve been promised I’d get a call when the paperwork is done and they never phoned, so I waited there and eventually got the card when the system started working again. It was SO hot after yesterday’s rain that I was sweating a lot, which is odd for me. Looks like this will be a realy hot summer.

Hotaru and I made more Styrofoam stamps after she came back from school. The little firefely was happy she didn’t get vaccinated today either after all. I need to get that done ASAP in order to take her papers to Mugen Gakuen so I know this can’t realy wait long. I still need to take this new vaccination card to the clinic where she was born so they can print their own info in it, the vaccines she got when she was a month old.

Michiru didn’t come home tonight because she had class and we missed her a lot. Mom was supposed to come over for dinner but cancelled on us last minute. To palliate that, Hotaru and I made home made hamburgers for dinner. We served that with steamed rice and green peas. It was amazing.

There were a couple of technical issues with the cooking (like me forgetting to put flour into the mix and having a bara bara first batch ROFL) but it was solved soon enough and the rest of the hamburgers came out delicious.

I got an anxiety attack later at night but a call to my aunt Grace solved that. Thank the Gods for her! ❤

Hotaru will attend Mugen Gakuen after all

Today I got another email from Mugen Gakuen telling me Hotaru has been officially accepted. It even contained the word “welcome” and it was such a shock, my fight or flight reflexes kicked in big time. It took me a while to calm down and process it, though it still doesn’t sink. Hotaru even asked why I wasn’t screaming and whooping like I did when they sent the first email. Guess I got so disappointed to learn that the process was longer than I just didn’t go through that again.

Hotaru’s friend Rami seems to have been accepted as well, though I’m not quite sure. I fear it might have been his mother trying to save face. Guess we’ll find out eventually, in March, when they go back to school.

Hotaru and I made little stamps out of Styrofoam and stamped lots of bows and hearts and hello kitty figures into paper. It was fun and easy to make, though not quite what I had in mind initially, which was introducing her to xerography. Still, I enjoyed her take on the activity a lot more than I would have had we gone with my idea. She even said “Hanko wo tsukutta.” In a very cheerful way. She’s SOOOO adorable ❤

She slept well last night. No concerns about either Dr. Tomoe or Mr. Remus. I’m so relieved! I hate to see her cry. She needs to be a happy child and grow into a happy adult.

I went to Hotaru’s school this afternoon. November is the month where parents take turns giving the kids a lecture or a class of some sort. Lulu’s mom taught them a simple recipe, because she’s a cook. Odango Atama gave them a gym class, since she’s a personal trainer. Someone’s father read them a book and someone’s grandma taught them to make musical instruments out of empty yogurt cups.

Me? I’m a procastinator, so I organized a role playing game. Hotaru asked me to set it on Hogwarts, so I told them a story about them being students at a magical school where I made them go through several classes, from spell learning to gardening and dragon caring. I asked them personally, one by one what color their spells were, what their potions did, what kind of plant they were growing and what their dragons looked alike, then had them beat a monster in the end, combining their forces to defeat it with the spell taught in Defense Against the Dark Arts class… LOL.

Looks like they had fun. They drew me a picture as a thank you gift and seemed super engaged by the activity. Their teacher said they’re not used to using their imagination and that they had a hard time in the beginning, which I saw for myself. Makes sense. They get too much screen time. But my experience with visiting them at school since Hotaru was two is that kids want YOUR attention. They want to tell you what they like and what they do, not the other way around. So I organized this so they had to tell me a lot about their own animals and spells and potions and such… and they loved it!

Things go smoothly when you bear in mind the emotional needs of your target. Looks like all those years studying Marketing in college finally paid off ROFL.

Oh, Chibi Usa missed school today. I wonder if she’s OK. They haven’t replied my whatsapp messages.

Michiru came home after her Dr’s appointment. The woman said her rash is due to stress, sleep deprivation and under eating. Nothing we didn’t know, but hopefully that will put her mother’s mind at ease and she’ll give Michiru a break about going to the doctor.

We did some catching up and folded clothes. Then my blood pressure plummeted and I got very nervous until I realized what the reason I wasn’t feeling well was. Then I put some salt under my tongue and rose my legs and fell asleep on the sofa.

Michiru made dinner for Hotaru and herself. I was too exhausted to eat. Then, we all went to bed early. I wasn’t feeling well enough to read to Hotaru in her bed, so she came to ours and sat in the corner. I read to her there and then she went to bed on her own. It broke my heart, but I really wasn’t recovered enough to stand for a long while in her room reading in the dark.

I did give her several bear hugs to make up for it but it wasn’t enough for me. I think she was happy to watch TV for a change, but that’s good. I want her happy, not super focused on me. She needs to be her own woman once I’m not around, though I expect that to be a long long time in the future.

I’m extremely grateful for Michiru’s kindness and her good disposition to help out when I wasn’t able to do stuff like dinner.

Mugen Gakuen and Mr. Lawyer

Isn’t she the most adorable, gorgeous little girl that ever was!? That’s her friend Rami. We bumped into him and his dad at Mugen Gakuen today. It was quite the shock. I was like “I think I know that kid…” and then she yelled “RAMI!!” She was beyond thrilled!

Hotaru had her interview at Mugen Gakuen today. I was super nervous and so was she. My blood pressure was very low so it was fortunate they brought out chairs for us. Her school mate Rami was there as well which was a surprise, but it clued us in to the fact that it was a group interview. No parents allowed, though, so I was super stressed over how she might be faring.

Turns out they made her draw a person, a house and a tree and then fold some paper into origami (which the other two boys didn’t know how to) and count how many of each type of fish there were in a tank. I’m guessing it was a picture because there was no tank in that office last week. Oh, and they were asked what languages they spoke. She said Spanish, English and Japanese while the other boys only said Spanish, so I think she got an edge there. Hope she charmed the staff ❤

Then we came back home as it was too late to take Hotaru to school by the time the interview was over. A little after that, my aunt arrived to look after the little firefly and I met mom at Mr. Lawyer’s office. I got there just in time but mom got delayed and arrived even later. It didn’t matter in the end. His other client left a while after we were both there and he had a nice long talk with him. He says things are going well, that Dr. Tomoe won’t be able to hurt Hotaru or be alone with her after this is over. So she will be safe.

He also said that Michiru and I can be out with Hotaru in the open, that as long as he doesn’t have proof that us being a couple is actively hurting the kid (as in pictures or the gruesome stuff I found in his computer), there is nothing he can do legally to hurt the case. And Michiru and I would never hurt Hotaru so it’s nice to know that our relationship won’t come back to bite us in the rear, which is what I’ve been wanting to know for a while now.

It’s not like we’re going to make it official or tell the kid yet, but it’s good to know we don’t have to look over our shoulders all the time when we’re out and about having fun with her. Even if we do run into him or his family, they won’t be able to hurt us because of us being a family. Besides, the judge approved of the restraining order against his mother after what happened so, that’s a relief as well. I will be able to go out without worrying over her following us and creating a scene that might traumatize poor Hotaru.

Mom was supposed to come home with Hotaru and I after that but Leo called. He was having an anxiety attack and wanted her to go meet him somewhere, so she left and I came home alone. Stopped by the grocery store first and got some fruits and veggies, though. Aunt Grace didn’t stay long after I was back because she was meeting her friend Chris at a thrift event of some sort.

After such a day, the adrenaline crash was just around the corner most of the afternoon. I tried to stay calm by watching Land Girls on Netflix while Hotaru was on the phone with Chibi Usa. The little bunny was worried Hotaru was mad at her because of yesterday’s accident (of which I learned only today). Looks like Chibi Usa was playing with a ball and accidentally hit Hotaru in the face and she was in tears fearing the kid would hate her or something. Hotaru spent a while trying to reassure her that it was all right and they talked and played as usual after that.

Then she played on the computer while I worked on the games for the Halloween party. I’m almost finished with the Fish a Spider game. Only the rods missing. Then I picked up the other game, the one where you need to help a marble climb a tree without falling through the holes in the box. That one is a bit ambitious, but I’m hoping it will turn out all right, in spite of the fact half of the mats are still missing. I’ll try to buy them tomorrow and finish it up. Otherwise, I’ll have to ask Hotaru for help during the weekend.

Oh, I’ve been looking at houses online this afternoon and made some calls as well. I was very upset after last night, so I wanted to get back on that horse as soon as possible. Found a house that I really like but it’s a bit expensive for my budget. It’s still just a plan B in case my first option ends up really being out of question. I wanted to see it tomorrow, but the guy said the owner will be out of town for a few days and we agreed on meeting there next Thursday. I can’t wait but I guess I will have to. There’s another property that caught my eye. I’m checking that one out on Saturday but it’s not one I’m particularly interested in.

Ideally, I’d like to visit them with Michiru, but her schedule (and Hotaru’s) makes it almost impossible. We never get time alone anymore since Leo’s cancer got worse and it hasn’t changed now that he’s on the mend, because he’s still in a lot of pain which wasn’t the case before. As well behaved as the little firefly is, I don’t want to take her house hunting with us. Mainly because she might speak out of term when we’re lying or hiding things to get a better deal. If she were older, things would be different, but I can’t really appreciate a property and watch her at the same time in case she decides to wander off into an off limits room or whatever. After all, there’s people living in most of these houses and you can’t just let a child walk through them unsupervised.

Back to Halloween, I’m still undecided on whether to make the crocodile game or not. The one with the tree is much more fun. It’s more complex to put together, but I’m halfway there already and, if there’s time to spare and I can get my hands on a big cardboard box, I can still put it together really quick. Don’t want to bite more than I can chew, so I’ll try to take it slow and see to every game one at a time.

Hotaru has been counting down the days before the Halloween party and supervising my job like a watch dog, so now I know what having a bossy boss feels like LOL. I love it that she’s excited about it and that she takes it so seriously. She and Chibi Usa couldn’t stop speculating about the party today. And I think it’s great that they’ll have this experience. No one threw Halloween parties when I was in elementary school and I SO wanted to attend one! It was all the cartoons talked about this time of the year and knowing there was no chance of being a part of that was heart breaking. Who cares if it’s not an Argentinean holiday, really?

Michiru had tea and dinner with her friend Mac. I called her on my way home to deliver the good news and then allowed them to enjoy their night. She’s coming here afterwards, to spend the night but she did say she’ll come rather late and probably go straight to bed. I still love the idea of her staying and so does Hotaru so yay!

Oh, almost forgot! Had a dream last night. I dreamed Michiru and I had just had a baby girl. I don’t know what she was called but she was absolutely gorgeous. I told someone, a nurse I think, that she had been born on August the 4th, which is weird. That’s not a significant date to me at all. In fact the only thing that happens in August is that September comes once it’s finally over LOL. I wanted to tell Michiru when we woke up but Ami called her on the phone and so, I did over whatsapp later on, as she was on her way to work.

Paperwork

I took Hotaru to her weekly appointment with Helga, her therapist. Had a quick word with her asking for the certificate Mr. Lawyer asked for. She was kind enough to write it for me. The weather has been so lousy my blood pressure was all over the floor by the time we got there and I had to ask the secretary for some salt and a glass of water, which eventually took me back to some level of normalcy.

Now I need to get the same kind of paper from my own therapist but she’s on maternity leave. I called her a couple of times and she said she’ll TRY to get it ready for me to pick up from a friend’s shop nearby tomorrow. Wasn’t too happy about it with a new baby in the house but it comes with the job and I need that for my own child’s sake so yeah. I was dense about it.

Mom’s hostel flooded terribly due to tonight’s storm. They called her in the middle of the night to let her know there was water coming in through the AC vents and the windows. Those poor girls. And mother, knowing there’s nothing she can do to fix it until the rain stops!

Michiru was emotionally upset all day today. I didn’t see her but she told me over text message. I don’t know what’s causing that. She said it’s all the problems she’s been dealing with in the past few years, what with her dad and her job and her current housing situation (she hates the fact that she’s almost thirty and still living with her mom). But I think it’s mostly Ami’s depression that’s gotten to her badly.

Oh, John is back at the Harry Potter group which is great. I still feel things between him and I are a bit strained at the moment considering we parted in bad terms, but I believe they’ll get better in time. I mean, not perfect because he’s a Scorpio and they can hold a grudge as if they had invented resentment themselves, but I’m happy with things not being awkward. Guess we’ll get there eventually. Truth is, I’ve missed him. I’m gonna wait for  while before talking to him through private message just to make sure it’s all water under the bridge. I did love having someone to chat in English with.

Also, about the HP group, Enzo is in a lot of pain. Stomach pain. We don’t know why and it doesn’t seem like apendicitis to me, but he has promised to get checked out tomorrow if this goes on. Still, he has an appointment for an ultrasound the day after tomorrow, so he might also wait if the pain recedes.

Oh, the pictures is from yesterday, when Hotaru and Chibi Usa played at the tiny square near our place, while Odango Atama and I chatted. Lulu’s mom said it’s only drawing at the Mugen Gakuen admission meeting, so I’m relaxing a bit.

Bad News in the educational front

The weather was nicer today. Nice enough for me to take Hotaru to school, but not super. I still had to rely heavily on salt to keep functional, but it could have been worse.

After dropping her at school, I had a bit of time to spare before my meeting at Mugen Gakuen, so I agree to go for a short walk with Odango Atama and Serenity. They still pressure me heavily to send Hotaru to Rawson’s school, which is where Chibi Usa will be attending next year. But even though I try my best to decline nicely and stand my ground, it’s getting harder to be polite when they keep at it. I mean, if she can go to our first choice school, why send her to the second choice? Because it’s $2000 cheaper? I understand that they can’t afford it, but we can and want what’s best for Hotaru and that’s Mugen Gakuen.

She can still be best friends with Chibi Usa, like I was with Paula when we were young, despite going to different schools and living several miles apart. But having teachers and friends who understand her when she speaks in English and/or Japanese and who share her culture is something no sum of money can buy. Besides, she WANTS to go to the Inifinite Academy. The only way she doesn’t go there will be if they don’t accept her…

And talking about that, there’s some bad news in that front. It appears the mail I got from Mugen Gakuen meant they want to interview me and then her to see if she’ll fit well in there rather than the kid having a seat there granted. I learned that today at the meeting and it upset me greatly. I had an interview with the school’s psychologist who asked me a bunch of weird questions like at what age Hotaru started to walk, was potty trained and quit the nookie. I mean, the kid is six and already speaks three languages, I assure you her development can’t be measured by normal standards.

I told her all about her Japanese and showed her the videos I had prepared and told her other stuff like the crafts we make together and her interest in math… her teaching herself to write and read and a ton other things that I hope will help her get in.

The interview went as well as humanly possible but I was still very upset about her not having a spot secured yet while her friend Lulu does although her mother wrinkles her nose every time someone mentions that they study Japanese in that school. It’s utterly unfair, really and I had a day long anxiety attack because of that. I just couldn’t relax!

Not until Michiru came home at night that is. Then, she told me that her friend Ami is super depressed over something that happened to her recently and says she wants to kill herself. That made me forget all about my problems and focus on how we can help Ami feel better. I’ve been there, so I know it’s very hard to recover, but I trust she’ll find a way with a little help from Michiru and her other friends. She has to. Michiru was super upset about all this and I am worried about her. I don’t want her feeling responsible for whatever outcome this has. So, I’m determined to help however I can.

Back to Odango Atama, I forgot to say that Serenity insisted my mother employed Usagi when she learned that my mom has a hostel. She does all the washing and cleaning almost single handed because she can’t afford to hire help and then they come and assume my mom is rich or something and demand a job… it was SO enraging… but I do understand their situation, their desperation and that’s why I was patient and polite and explained all this. Still, it was rude of them and I didn’t like it one bit, even if I understand their situation.

Had to talk on the phone with my mom several times today so she could calm me down, because I was shaking because of this Mugen Gakuen situation. I fear Hotaru will get super upset if she doesn’t get into the Infinite Academy this year. Plus, the idea of her going to this crappy school another year tortures me. Mom and dad (and Michiru) and my aunt all concur that there’s still a chance Hotaru might get into the school, otherwise they wouldn’t be interviewing me, right? They want to meet her next Thursday and I don’t know how to keep calm and carry on until then… or, more precisely, until I get a YES from that school, be it this year or the next one.

I did tell Hotaru the bad news that they still have to see if they like her before promising she can study there, but I told her that I’ve done all I could and that if she doesn’t get in this year, she most definitely will the next one. That seemed to reassure her more than it did me, to be honest.

We worked on a Fluffle Puff faux vitral to distract ourselves from this setback. It turned out great. Oh and I printed a couple of Hiragana posters for Hotaru. One for her room and the other one for us to use while studying and she absolutely loved them. She sang the hiragana song nonstop and was thrilled with the pictures that came with the letters.

News from Mugen Gakuen

Today was a super crappy day, so forgive me if I don’t go into detail.

Hotaru had her interview for the trial against Dr. Tomoe this morning. Only, it didn’t happen because the person who was supposed to supervise it didn’t attend. It wasted everyone’s time. Particularly, my mom’s who is very valuable because she has a ton of other responsibilities to take care of. They went in super early and I stayed home.

Dad picked me up at 10 and we went in later, right after they had left, because my own interview was at 11. The scheduled one was easy. I had to take the Rorschach test and it was fun because I studied it in high school and knew what was expected of me anyway so yeah…

Then I had to redo my psychiatric interview because last time there was also supposed to be a supervisor that didn’t show up and, instead of the 15 stupid questions about my physical health that man had asked the previous time, the supervisor asked me a million super personal things that were er… tricky to say the least. And I got lost and lost track of my train of thought so it became messy to tell the story. I know they do that to make sure you’re not lying, but it was most excruciating for me.

I hate it when they challenge what I say and insinuate I’m lying. It’s outraging and it hurts not being believed. I don’t like it when people imply I’m a liar. Especially when it’s over something important like this.

Anyway… it was lucky dad was there with me. I felt super anxious all day. He took me to the hospital where Leo is being treated because mom had Hotaru there, at the restaurant floor. I sat with them and my brother after dad left, but I couldn’t focus on anything, really. I was too upset.

Later on, I crossed the street to the offices where I picked up my new Health Insurance card and the reference to a fertility clinic. I should have been more excited about it, but the whole incident with those shrinks in the morning, got me too upset to be happy.

Then we got home and Hotaru showed me the toys and bed sheets and blankets my mom bought for her after they left the court house. They were all lovely. The sheets have butterflies and pastel tones patchwork and the Playmobile bus was very cute indeed. I don’t even wanna know how much all of that costed.

Hotaru and I were talking about toys when I got an email on my phone… FROM THE MUGEN GAKUEN. They said they’re ready for me to continue the admission process if I still wish so. Of course I do!! I thought they’d never call! Thought she’d have to spend another year in that hideous school!

That was such great news, it made me forget my anxiety and I was literally jumping up and down screaming “YOU GOT IN!!” And Hotaru got super excited as well and we celebrated. She wanted me to play some music in Japanese to celebrate and I did while texting to Michiru and mom and everyone else under the sun.

Those news helped me fence off bad thoughts. I kept conjuring them whenever bad thoughts threatened to overcome me and it worked like a charm!

Then Hotaru and I watched some episodes of X-Men together. I was so mentally exhausted that I took a super long nap after that and then mom called me to say that the house is finally going to be sold for sure. We’re still going over the last few details but the contract will be signed in a fortnight.

Michiru came home after work and we had fun playing games on her tablet (they’re STILL obsessed with that silly kitty game btw, the one where you collect cat poop as if it were money! Ew) and we listened to music and talked of all the things Hotaru will be able to enjoy in the Mugen Gakuen. ^^

Looks like things are finally starting to look up for me at long last.

Mugen Gakuen on hold

Called Mugen Gakuen today to find out how many people there are before Hotaru on their waiting list. They said I should ask personally, so I stopped there on my way to the Dr’s office, to get tested for UTI, as I’ve been having abdominal pains on and off this week. The whole test business took under an hour and then I was walking back home with 6lbs of oranges to make yummy juice.

People at the Infinity Academy said I should call again later and ask someone else, which I did. They said there’s too many people before Hotaru on their waiting list, so she’ll have to stay in this school for another year before that. But I’ll enroll her for second grade in March, so she has a seat at the Mugen Gakuen FOR SURE the year after next.

Looks like the little firefly will be learning how to write Hiragana from me.

I’m not as bummed by this as I thought I’d be, but there’s so worse things happening in my life at the moment, I guess I’m just letting go of whatever I can’t control and going with the flow.

Hotaru and I drew for a while on the afternoon, and played Animal Jam. We’ve been playing that a lot lately. It’s so much fun and there’s so much you can do while educating yourself on the habits of wild animals!

Mugen Gakuen’s Bazaa

Michiru and I took Hotaru to Mugen Gakuen’s BAZAA today. The weather was lovely and Hotaru was dying to see what the school was like on the inside. We went to Subway for lunch first, because Michiru and I didn’t feel like cooking and then I bought a new striped shirt as we walked to the Infinite Academy.

I had a premonition about it, that it would be emotionally shocking but nothing could have prepared me for what we found there. Makoto was there and it really shook me to find her there after not speaking to each other in five and a half years. I wasn’t sure about talking to her at first but Michiru insisted I said hi. I did, but it was awkward and I couldn’t really talk to her at the school door.

Told Michiru to take Hotaru inside so I could bring her up to speed, which I did. She was flabbergasted to hear about Dr. Tomoe. Didn’t say much about her, which is understandable, considering she isn’t the adventurous type after all. She wasn’t mad at me after our last talk where we sort of made out four years ago.

I think that seeing Hotaru so grown up really shocked her and I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable but so did I. However, I’m glad I talked to her. Like Michiru predicted, it made me feel… well, it’s hard to describe. She was my BFF through high school and I still miss her sometimes, so it was nice to see that there’s no grudge between us, even if we don’t speak much… mostly because we disagree about pretty much everything under the sun.

Anyway, she said Rei was on her way to meet her so I waited for her and said hello. Had to bring her up to speed as well, but it was fun to see them again. Even if things were super awkward, it did feel like the old times in a way. Meeting with them, spending the day with Michiru. It felt like high school all over again. The good bits anyway.

My kouhai Tsubasa was there as well. She gave me a free ticket so I didn’t have to pay the entrance fee. It was heart warming. I didn’t think she would have appreciated that much the fact that two years ago I spent my birthday working on her Katniss cosplay like a crazy person. Seems like she did.

Gabi sensei was there as well. She teared up when we met after so long. I introduced her to Hotaru and she told me her son Sebi chan is in fifth grade already. I was as shocked to learn that as she was to know I have a daughter now. Misui sensei was happy to meet Hotaru and said she’d be a nice addition to the institution.

Hotaru loved the BAZAA at Mugen Gakuen. We spent half the day there, playing the many games they had to offer. They were less creative than those of the previous years but the classics were still there. Hotaru loved the one where you have to use an incense stick to burn a paper until someone makes the coin fall in the tin can.

Elza, Grey, a friend of Michiru’s met us there. She wasn’t very talkative and Michiru wasn’t in the mood to entertain, so she pretty much ignored her. I thought it was rude, but it’s her friend and she insisted it was ok with her, that it works like that between them because she said she wouldn’t have the time to chat and she decided to tag along anyway under her own responsibility.

After that, Michiru went home and Hotaru and I went to aunt Grace’s for dinner. Dad and the usual crew was there as well. It was great fun. We played 10.000 and lost horribly but there were so many funny moments where we all laughed our heads off, it was totally worth losing.

What a perfect day!